If you believe God kicked us out of paradise, then how can you believe God is love? If you believe God needed us to kill His Son in order to buy our innocence, then how can you believe God is love? What do I think love is? Wouldn\’t this God be something to fear? Wouldn\’t love be frightening? Stop and think!
My own reflection this morning: If God is love, and I\’ve stopped to ponder my meaning of the word love, then any cruelty or disease cannot be of God. Since I am a creature of God, I must be love too. Love could only beget love. Therefore if I perceive cruelty or disease, it must be an error of perception and thinking on my part. It must be a delusion and I am insane. I take it back to myself. I take responsibility for my insanity, my delusion; and with utter trust and reliance on Love as the only truth, I deny reality to my delusion. I stand defenseless because I\’ve decided that love is the only thing that could exist. To say it again: If God is love, cruelty and disease could not exist. They could not be true, but merely my delusion.
Get this: even though I perceive cruelty and disease all around me, I\’ve decided to deny it reality and instead believe God is love and only love could really exist. And then, I walk out into the world; knowing I am blind to love, trusting it is there. Woah…isn\’t that like stepping off a cliff? No…there is no cliff. (I\’ve been thinking about this for awhile and it has taken me some time to conclude God is love and to trust Love, not my eyes.)
I accept my insanity and ask the God of Love for help. I stop blaming God for evil. If I blame God for evil, how could He help me? I ponder the reality of a God of Love. I do not corrupt love with suppositions for how evil could exist. I accept that only love exists and anything else must be my insanity. A God of Love could and would restore me to sanity. I so rarely come to believe I must be insane and ask for help. An insane person cannot heal themselves. Therefore to reach the realization of insanity means I must have been healed and received the help I needed. I must now believe in love and only that. My willingness to take back my delusion and rely on Love is a messenger thought. I listen to the messenger and accept what it says: I must believe God is love. I am safe.
How can an insane person exist as a creation of God; except to say, \”I chose this instead of love. I\’ve forgotten exactly why, but now I want love.\”
Personal statistics: Today is the second day in a row I rode my bicycle to work early in the morning and will ride it home and back at lunch. It sounds pretty small but not driving the 10 miles a day for two trips to work creates for me a different reality. I live in a twilight zone, a parallel reality, the realm of the spirit. To get here, I worked spiritually, but I also stopped participating in the mainstream and made other choices. Like: I don\’t watch TV. I don\’t eat meat, preservatives or processed food. I am athletic. I\’m not involved in family or church. I don\’t dress up in status clothing, make-up or hair-do. I don\’t invest like everyone else. I do study philosophies which are not approved of. I get up at 3 in the morning. I don\’t smoke or drink. Other stuff….and now…I ride a bicycle. This morning, riding to work at 5:45, I noticed about four other people out walking. My twilight reality includes people walking but not anyone in cars. Interesting!
143 days to Heartland, Spirit of the Prairie. Personal multi-days begin on Thursday. I get to see Sr Priscilla and Friday and take her to lunch in the \”big house.\”
In my solitary twilight zone, I stopped listening to the mainstream and cleared out my thinking for something else: God.