People reading this blog who are Course in Miracles students will have read in the text and practiced in the workbook: giving and receiving are the same. This phrase is part of my spiritual litany I recite to myself going to sleep at night. But, do I understand it? No, not really. But today proved to me that I know its truth at a deeper level than I previously knew.
Here is a story about it.
My workbook lesson for today is (43): God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.
I start off not understanding this lesson apart from reading what it says in the workbook; but I am repeating it alot in my mind. I start the day with 3 seemingly annoying events. First, I weigh nearly 2 pounds more than yesterday despite 5 hours of workout and a negative calorie input. Second, I open the box from Road Runner Sports to access the nutrition I ordered and find that they shipped me a pair of shoes I did not order. Third, when I get to the park for running, I have to wait for a train which slows down and stops with one car blocking the road (so have to drive around to the other entrance).
God is my source. I cannot see apart from Him.
I repeat this sentence alot as I do my slow jogging around and around the park; frequently wondering what to do about the shoes I did not order. I am there for 3 hours and then come home.
After eating, I check the shoes. No, I can\’t even get these on my feet. I decide to call Road Runner Sports and see if there is anything on my file about these shoes. Nope, their mistake. I am asked to return the shoes. I don\’t really want to go wait at the post office in order to do this. Nothing is offered for my trouble. I am already disgruntled with RRS for another matter. Should I not have called and just tossed the shoes in a yellow Planet Aid box? Would be less trouble.
God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.
As I hang up the phone, I think, \”Giving and receiving are the same.\” I hear the intuition. I know that I am faced with an opportunity to give, seemingly unfairly. But when I say today\’s lesson to myself (God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.), I am asking for spiritual vision. I am asking for my thinking to be spiritualized and different from the ego\’s usual selfish way of looking at things.
Our egos always want to be paid back for any little thing.
In this instance, for the first time ever, I whole heartedly believe that in giving RRS their shoes I am receiving. Apart from material world give and take, I have here perfect evidence that my thinking is in fact transforming from ego based to spirit based. And of all the things I want out of life, spirit based thinking IS at the top.
Since I believed in this one instance, I can believe in all instances. I can now go through life being at peace when trains stop in the middle of the road or my weight inexplicably goes up. Or, God forbid, something unfair happens at work; like I am more competent yet get paid less. I can respond to everything by giving.
So, now your ego is probably telling you what a doormat pansy ass I am for seeing unfair material losses as beneficial.
(Giving and receiving are the same. God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.)
But I\’m trying to say that I\’ve switched to a different standard of living. I\’ve placed value on life beyond money or material world measurements.
At the same time, I can\’t prove it to you. Its something I know to be true in my heart. I offer it to you. If you are a spiritual seeker and you want to know the Divine Presence in this lifetime, ponder: Giving and receiving are the same. Ponder spiritual thinking and vision: God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.
We think things are bad because we don\’t recognize habitual ego-based thinking. Decide that God is in everything and stop thinking anything is bad. You\’ll find the spiritual consciousness you\’ve been seeking.