I can make a right/healthy decision in the moment. But, maybe that desire doesn\’t go away, just underground to come back later. Then the only way I am ultimately powerful is to do something that eliminates that thought, develop a habit which becomes stronger than that thought, or ask for a higher power to remove that thought. Otherwise, I\’m doomed to eventually do that thing.
I need to change my momentum and keep it changed.
I want a different ruler in my mind than the one I have been allowing. I need to strengthen the consciousness which brings me success, peace, productivity, self love. That consciousness which is positive is there; I just don\’t choose it as my ruler. But I think I could. I am aware enough of my thoughts to begin a different conscious sorting process.
I went for a long run as usual for a Saturday morning (4h25 min). I thought that I want my life to be an experience of soul. What ever I do and however I think, I want it to be an experience of soul.
I learned how to just be today! I realized that I am.
That\’s it.
Ultra Monk's Essays 