Silence or Sloth?

Today I broke my record for Sunday sleeping in: 9 am. When I first got up, I was feeling a bit like the day was screwed because if it was too warm, there\’d be no long run.

So I sat down to do my usual morning spiritual reading and reflection. I have to ask myself: where is my mind at? See, I haven\’t been feeling driven by anything and I haven\’t been feeling strong negative emotions like I used to. I seem to no longer need to prove I am \”better than\” those who have the world\’s approval. I am more comfortable hanging out there on my own as a religion-less spiritual person.

The result of daily spiritual work should be inner peace. I am finally able to see that inner peace is quiet and with silence in the emotions. The ego loses its control and it is quieter inside. If the ego does speak up and attempt to take control back, I don\’t believe it as much.

I can ask myself about the possibilities and the changes in motivation. If I had inner peace and was spirit motivated, how would that feel? Would it be a more subtle emotional life? Or an emotional life not in the ego\’s world; hence not feeding the ego\’s addictions?

Somewhere in this musing, I had a vision of myself running down a long path, sweating. That was my urge for long slow distance. So, I decided to go running since today was not supposed to be warmer than 90F (haha, you know its been a long summer if 90F seems cool). I packed up my cooler and decided to drive about 23 miles east to where there is a long flat dirt bike path (I had scouted the area yesterday). I started my run at 10:45. This is amazing as just a couple of weeks ago, it would have already been 95F by that time. Today it was only 77F, and I don\’t think it ever got above 85F.

Driving to the trail, I had this revelation. Spirit motivated can be nothing more than in the moment.

I didn\’t find the northern most trail head yesterday. But today, armed with a map, I found the farthest north end and parked there. I can\’t really explain; but there was a little inner battle in deciding to find the north trail head. Then, running back towards the car after 17 miles of running, the trail head I found yesterday had a train parked in front of it. Had I parked there, my car would have been stuck. Since I had overcome my inner resistance, and decided to find the other place, my car was not stuck behind a train. After climbing over the train, and cleaning my hands with a Wet-One, it occurred to me that intuition had worked to push me to NOT park in the place I knew but find the right new place and park there. It seems small, but following these little urges is what being spirit driven is about. I said an inner thank-you.

I had a truly wonderful 18 mile/4 hour low-impact jog. It sure put the icing on the cake for Silverton.

Silverton? Yes, its this coming weekend: http://silvertonspecialevents.com/silverton_special_events_033.htm
I\’m signed up for a 72 hour race. Well, I don\’t plan on being on course more than 12 hours a day, but still….

There is this growing pile of stuff in my living room as I start packing:

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