Colorado Vacation – Dillon Day 1

Pretty sweet that you can leave ghastly hot and humid Texas at 7:30 am and be in the mountains running by noon; even with traffic getting out of Denver.

I had a 14.4 mile jaunt at Dillon reservoir today. I have to say: my body is so different from a year ago. I\’ve been struggling with various issues and these talk to me on long runs. I\’m entered in a half marathon tomorrow. It won\’t be much of a race; just finish.


How to Remember

Eternal Silence lives its life in me.
Stately silent Love has set me free.

I stop and remember That Silence behind everything at various times. Remembering it, my Course in Miracles practice of looking beyond this reality goes much better. I am in God. I am part of God. There is no way for there to be anything else but this.

I am chewing over a Christian who blogs about the unclean. There is no such thing as \”unclean.\” What I perceive in this world is a delusion. So the hoity toity don\’t want dirty drunks in their nice palace-like churches. Or people actually think God doesn\’t want \”unclean\” because the Bible says so.

I need to look beyond and remember That Silence. We are one with it. Cannot possibly be separate.

I had an 88 min jog/walk in the warm moist air of Houston this morning. I am one with That Silence.

I have to make a presentation before the Ops Council this afternoon. I am one with That Silence.

I am going to Colorado on Saturday to run for 5 days. I am one with That Silence.

All around the world, I keep hearing that I am in charge of such and such. I am one with That Silence.

The guys at the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence race keep churning out their daily 60 or 70 miles on the concrete of New York City. I am one with That Silence.

I am That Silence. I am part of God.

One more mile. I am one with That Silence.

Just putting this here so I can fake web host it.

Early Morning Run

Its 84F/29C and 74% humidity outside. While Missouri summers are bad, they are nothing like a Houston summer. I haven\’t worn a shirt for my early morning runs for several weeks. I just put the reflector vest over my sports bra.

This morning, I was just doing low impact walk/jog for 80 minutes. I was happy to make it out of bed on time and consequently have time for a long meditative session outside.

I disagree with Uptal\’s Perfection Journey blog today. He says, \”Not coming [to the 3,100 Mile Race] means a summer safely removed from intense  physical suffering but also one in which true inner satisfaction and self fulfillment  is almost entirely eliminated as well.\”  (  )

I spend much time contemplating self transcendence. For me, it is over coming the daily ego sludge which tries to stop me at every turn. By ego, I mean the definition from A Course in Miracles; which is the separation belief which made this delusion of a world. True inner satisfaction comes from overlooking the ego thought system and seeing the truth beyond. Some people need to run 3,100 miles to have this. Others of us need only get out of bed and sit in a chair.

For myself, it is not only getting out of bed, but working happily in a chemical plant with colleagues from around the world.

I\’ve been in Texas 8 months. Yesterday, I was talking on the phone and I noticed that I said fahve instead of five (5), twice. In fact, I can\’t say it northern anymore.

This morning, after entering my weight into tracker, I noticed I weigh exactly the same as I did in January. To keep from gaining weight is a struggle in this American food culture. It takes massive exercise and continuous dieting.

Its About Spirit

Not bling!

I\’m going in a half marathon while I am in Colorado. But I\’m not going to Colorado to run a race. I\’m going there to spend time on my feet at 9,000 feet, 11% humidity and beautiful mountains. Time on my feet develops into a meditation. The meditation embraces that inner strength. I become one with Love.

I just bought one of these to wear when I workout:

This hachimaki headband features a rising sun and the kanji for Toukon – made up from the Japanese characters meaning ’fight’ and ’spirit’ or ’soul’. Ideal for martial artists, athletes and demonstrators.

Japanese hachimaki are thin cotton strips tied around the forehead. Originally worn at festivals to ward off evil spirits, they also serve the purpose of keeping hair and perspiration out of the wearer’s eyes.

Hachimaki also help the wearer to gather his/her spirits and show determination and resolve.

The 3,100 miles self transcendence race is 2 days down. Yesterday my own race was a little short as I went to see Dr Torture who does ART/Graston on my left heel. Today so far: I got out of bed on time, did my early spiritual study and then 74 min of ex-bike, elliptic and running outside.

Texas Self Transcendence

Today, I slept late. This means I have to account for heat and sun if I go running. This usually means Brummerhop park. I run a figure 8 route around the park; it overlaps in 2 places. Today I ran 47 laps: 17.39 miles per

Not a cloud in the sky. Temps near 90. 50% humidity. I carried my Nathan hydro-pak. My house is with a quarter of a mile of this place, but I always figure that if I go home, I\’ll stay there where its cool. So I don\’t go home. I carry the water.

I spent time thinking about my Colorado running vacation. I spent time thinking about the 3,100 mile race. I spent time thinking about my screwed up heel and newest goner toe nail. I spent time praying and meditating. Really, after 3 hours in the heat, the final hour belongs to the Holy Spirit.

I think self transcendence occurs when nothing matters any more. It means your ego has quit and you are experiencing\”just\” your simple consciousness. Simple consciousness is a term I just made up this instant. It means the simple self who has no agenda and just keeps going forward. It has no baggage, no attachment to the past or the future. It is at peace.

It does not mean anything that I am driven to workout 20 hours a week or run 50+. I do it. I go in races. But it doesn\’t mean anything. It is just something to do. In some way, it is an expression of my simple self. In other ways, it is an expression of ego.

47 laps around a park is useless but also simple. There is nothing challenging about the course (other than its hot in Texas). Nothing to brag about (I didn\’t even see a snake today). All it is is running. It is not really training; just running.

I live in the armpit of Houston. I run in this micro park because it is dirt and has trees and is easy to get to. BFD. Right?

Actually, no ones life matters. All ways of life are ultimately meaningless. So I might as well run as many miles as my body will let me.

The Crucible

My private gym is the place of intense fire. There is a treadmill, Nordic Track and Versa Climber in the first picture. There is an elliptical and ex-bike in the second. Also shown is a step platform. Not shown is the mini-trampoline, the TRX or the free weights.

This morning, I had another miracle run: 16.9 miles of sweat in Texas. Now, several hours later, I can tell my left heel is not in serious trouble. I wore my new Badwater hat. I\’m not ever going to race Badwater; but I can adopt the courage of someone who is. So the hat inspires me. While I was running this morning, I saw a fat girl out walking. The word Courage was on the back of her shirt. I teared up. I embody courage in my own way. Here are the simple things a long distance runner has: Badwater hat, Nathan hydro-pak, Garmin and shoes:

After my run, I enjoyed the feeling of a sore body. I can\’t explain why I like this but I do. I spent every day off work achieving it.

2 weeks to Ultra Monk\’s Colorado ultra training camp. Soon, I\’ll decide about Merrill\’s Mile. tomorrow the 3,100 Self Transcendence Race begins. I want to do endurance for my own reasons. Not Scott Jurek\’s or any other person\’s.

My spiritual thoughts continued to center on total willingness to be one with God. Enlightenment is expressed by a Course in Miracles as: God\’s Will (enlightenment) is an experience of total willingness. It is blocked by wishes for other experience. Now some people totally surrender in moments of despair or near death. Most others, like me, live lives of growing joy in the knowledge that we are light.

Salvation of My Bacon

Freedom (free from thought prison)

Looking beyond (this illusion)

Disregarding (the ego\’s voice)

Ideas from A Course in Miracles which save my emotional bacon. If I listen to the inner yammering of the ego and it\’s opinion of me, I\’m totally in a mental prison of self hate and fear of others.

\”The Holy Spirit leads you steadily along the path of freedom, teaching you how to disregard or look beyond everything that would hold you back.\” (8.II.__)

This week has been an interesting week in Seabrook with the weather. When I walk out of work at 3 pm in Baytown, the sky is mostly clear and it feels hotter than blazes. At 5:30 in Seabrook, I notice that the sky is mostly cloudy and there is a breeze. Going outside, it doesn\’t feel too bad. So I have had 2 evening long mileage sessions in Brummerhop park this week. Furthermore, I\’m not the only one over there doing laps.

I am in the mood to do a great Friday night workout. But it should be a low impact cross training workout. I think I can. Endurance is endurance regardless of what it consists of.

I do balance exercises standing on one leg on a thick piece of foam and  moving around so that balance tries to be upset. I usually want to hurry up and get these done. But, balance cannot be done quickly. There is a conflict between hurry up and balance. How very Zen.

I still want to go to Merrill\’s Mile. I\’m sure \”click submit\” will happen soon. On Sunday, the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race begins for 2012. I can\’t wait for Uptal\’s blog to get started again; so inspirational. Maybe I\’ll start my own self transcendence retreat for the 52 days. An ultra-runner\’s Easter.

Colorado Training Camp

I\’m holding a private ultra altitude training camp in 2 weeks. I\’m pretty happy with the setup: a bike path around Dillon reservoir, 18 miles around.

I know some trail running aficionados would think this stupid, but I can\’t run trails. So, this beautiful bike path at 9,000+ feet is where I\’ll be. Works for me. All photos copied from the internet.

Besides the running, I\’ll also hike on the Continental Divide trail leaving out of Silverthorne.

So excited.

Paper Throwers

Throughout the several decades of my running career, I\’ve been an early morning runner on suburban streets. You know who else is always out there? Guys delivering papers. They drive around swerving side to side and throwing papers out either side of the car.

This morning was another early morning run in swampy air and temps. But I jog pretty easy and its not a problem that early. Yesterday, it clouded up in the late afternoon so I was able to go outside for a 5 mile walk. Despite seeming set-backs with my left heel and ongoing shoe/insole experiments, I am up to 96 miles for June.

I\’m getting closer to clicking submit on Merrill\’s Mile. I still want to figure out how to stay on my feet for 24 hours. Work commitments will keep me from doing it at Ultracentric. So Merrill\’s Mile is my last chance until 2013.

Eat and Run


Honestly, I usually intake 2,200 kcal/day. That is not that much below the average. I could be gaining weight just like everyone else; except I exercise 2 hours a ,and barely stay ahead of weight increases. For weight maintenance, for me, it doesn\’t matter if its any particular type of food. Too many calories is too many calories no matter how healthy.

I eat healthy but too much.

Being a solitary in silence at home, I notice more thoughts than people distracted with others in their household or constant media input (TV on all the time). So when I pack my lunch in the morning, trying to decide what food to bring to last for 10 hours, I feel the fear of starving. No really.

There is no chance I will starve anytime soon, but the fear of not having food ready to hand does exist in my brain. It is an amazing thing to understand.

It s not just a fear of starvation. It is a need for satisfaction. Sitting quietly in an office, I can feel its ongoing urge. But no reasonable amount of food will ever fill this need. All the reasonable amount of food is gone before I ever know it.

There is never a happy lets stop now. I may force a stopping point after eating all the food and looking for more. The feeling of full lasts briefly. As soon as there is an iota of room inside, I eat. I try a piece of sugar free gum for temporary relief.

Do you realize how strong is this programming and how powerless over it, especially if unconscious of it.

I also realize that my brain is not capable of eating less. I can shift around what I eat; but the ability to not eat is not within my current synapse logic prose.