Fast 10k Run 6/23/2019

I ran fast today, I mean, for me: average 10:19 per miles. That is faster that 5.5 miles per hour. On a slightly hilly course. I loved it. I worked this morning, so my legs weren\’t rested.

And I might add, that when I lived in Houston, I never ran that fast because it was always too freaking hot. And there aren\’t any hills in Houston.

I felt great actually pushing myself on the uphills.

I love hills

One of the reasons I left Houston was because the place is flat as a pancake. For a runner, that is annoying. Kansas City has hills. Hills are awesome.

Surprising to me, I am improving at my running since leaving Houston, even after a snowy winter here when I had to cut back on the mileage.

This morning, it crossed my mind about how peaceful many people seem to be after they retire. Suddenly they are out walking everyday, playing with kids, going to Starbucks, hanging out with the dog.

I continue to try and figure out why my job had become so intolerable, even though it was easy and a good company. Well, there was the issue of creativity. I have creative projects now and I am the boss of the project. No one around to tell me I can\’t.

But the issue that struck me today regarded being in a cage. My life as a career woman was lived in a cage. A big cage, but still a cage. A corporate cage filled with attendance requirements and behavior requirements. And I wasn\’t myself while being in the cage. Now, I live outside of cages. I am free to be me, not a corporate-fitter-inner.

I totally \”get\” the FIRE movement. Here\’s all these really smart people hiring into corporations where they hate their corporate selves. But, the salary is great. So, just save like crazy and get the heck out as soon as possible. These FIRE people are not just sitting around with their millions. They are contributing to society and the world in creative ways, divorced from money. That contribution is incredibly valuable.

Man I Feel Good

This morning was another early morning at Starbucks. Today I worked the whole time on the front, which means I served the face to face walk in customers, made coffee and helped with food. After a 6.5 hour shift, driving home, man I felt so happy. I worked hard and feel happy. Incredible!

But before that, I got up at 3 am in order to have time to connect with my spirit before going to work. My spiritual reading was of my own writings. Well, actually editing my own writings. But also musing the spirituality of it, and talking to my higher self about it. I remembered a key point to my whole retirement. I wanted to be alive, that is, know I am alive while I am alive and experience the aliveness of it.

For some reason, I didn\’t feel this while I had a career.

Starbucks is a great place to feel alive.

Abraham Hicks (check it out on YouTube) has helped me to choose happiness. \”I am happy because I want to be happy.\” I try to set an intention or a feeling of joy before I go to work. It is a very subtle feeling that I find before work. But after work, the happy feeling was 100 times more than my pre-paving. Obviously felt, and I still feel it now hours later.

I even got to teach it today. One of the guys likes to say he is only plastering on his happy face and doesn\’t really feel happy. I told him it was up to him and didn\’t buy into the culture of not being happy or not wanting to be at work.

I like feeling happy. I have decided to feel happy. And so I feel happy.

I also love myself now. Growing up in an alcoholic home, there was no chance of being taught how to love yourself, regardless of the other people. Abraham Hicks helped with this also.

Most humans, talking the first worlders now, aren\’t happy. I wasn\’t happy for most of my life even with an engineering career. I wasn\’t really alive either. I mainly survived each workday, could hardly wait to leave. I didn\’t know how to be alive and didn\’t know how to choose how I feel. Is there something about today\’s white collar corporate or financial jobs that makes this very difficult? While working at Starbucks makes this very easy?

It could have something to do with sitting at a desk for eight hours staring at a computer. That could be why there is a FIRE (Financial Independence Retire Early) movement. These FIREĀ  people know they hate their white collar jobs, but these are the jobs that pay alot. So, save your money and get out as soon as you can.

In other news:
Monday I ran very fast for 13.25 miles.
Tuesday I did a slow 13 miles.
Wednesday rode the elliptical for 35 minutes. And worked.
Thursday I hill walked for 7 miles. And worked
Friday I ran medium speed 10 miles.
Saturday I rode the elliptical for 50 minutes and lifted weights. And worked.


No, that picture is not of me. But I love hearing about lady athletes who are older than me. They are my role models.

Today I ran 13.3 miles along Line Creek trail. It was hot (90F) but the trail is shady. I drank 1.5 liters of water. There is a recreational center along Line Creek which has lovely cold water so I stop there for refills.

The Next Thing

Well, last weekend I fulfilled a desired plan: I drove to Dallas, ran 2.5 marathons and drove home. I was incredibly happy that I didn\’t chicken out and not go at all. I didn\’t chicken out and not go the third day. I didn\’t try to do more than would make me happy by running a full marathon on the third day.

Now, a week later, I have one new toe nail and the dead skin has fallen off the insides of my big toes.

I have been perusing running calendars for months, trying to decide on what races to go in. Nothing really grabbed me until this week. And so I decided on my next marathon. It is a course I\’ve run twice before. It is very hilly. It has a 6 hour time limit. It will probably be hot. But I am focused now. I\’m happy with the focus.

And so today I ran my hills with extra energy.

When I got back to my car, parked at the library, I teased a guy parked next to me who had a huge stack of books, like 20 of the which were thick. He laughed and asked me if it was as humid as he felt. Then he said, but you are probably a beast. I guess I look like a beast in my hat, sun glasses and hydro-pak. Then I noticed that he was changing shoes and getting ready to hit the trail I had just come off of. So cool: 60 year old lady is called a beast!

Today is a day off my part time job. I slept long and I am very peaceful. It is nice to relax. I realize at this point, that I have a pretty predictable pattern of activities chosen because I like them. The person who had a career and tried to be important at work is gone. I had striven for greatness in some way for so many years. Now I am trying to sink deeper into my spiritual connections and not try to find anything out in the material world. After all, I\’ve been chasing more connection with my higher self my whole life and now I have the opportunity to be real about it. Trying to be a big hoo haa in a corporation or in my profession was a side gig and for most of my life I could hardly wait for the career to be over.

At Starbucks, we wear head sets if we are supporting the drive up window. Yesterday, I was listening to 3 shift managers talk on the head sets. As shift managers, they make very little more money than a regular barista. I guess that now that I heard what that hourly rate is, I\’m surprised at how little, except Starbucks does offer benefits, which counts for alot in my book. Other eating establishments don\’t offer the benefits. However, I do think a shift manager should be paid more than they are. But, they do seem to stick around for years so Starbucks would have no incentive to increase the pay.

Starbucks gave all of us gay pride shirts to wear during gay pride month, June. It was weird to have several drive up customers notice the shirt and want to buy one. I am not gay but work with many gay partners. I\’m suddenly realizing what a great proportion of the population really says they are gay. I wonder if it is not just that stereo-typical roles for men and women are no longer tolerable so people branch off into same sex relationships. I haven\’t been in a relationship for nearly two decades. I don\’t think I could tolerate the role that most men would want, that of dominating the female, like always being the one to drive or thinking the woman should cook dinner.

Part of my daily life is to work on my writing and learning to become a writer. The project still does not have enough momentum, but it does get a steady amount of activity, a little work every day. Twice a month, I participate in writing groups and this helps alot with momentum because I always prepare something to share. Each morning, I work on the spiritual writing project. In the afternoons, I find that I can add a paragraph or two to my novel. I can see two or three bread crumbs down the path for each project. I\’m not trying to push it. I could push it. I don\’t really want to. My latest effort is to write in an \”Upstairs Journal\” every day.

My social life is in the midst of people I have known for more than 30 years. It is amazing to me to have these connections. Especially when I realize that while I have moved around and been absent for years here and there, many of them were present for the whole time. I used to disrespect people like that. Now I respect that consistency.

Working part time as I do, I live outside the bounds of the 9 to 5 world. I am not in jail for 40 hours a week. I don\’t commute. I usually work on weekends. I am usually in a park every afternoon. I love my life now. I don\’t know really why my career job was so hated, but I clearly like how I\’m living now.

Musing and rambling done. Spirit out!