The Next Thing

Well, last weekend I fulfilled a desired plan: I drove to Dallas, ran 2.5 marathons and drove home. I was incredibly happy that I didn\’t chicken out and not go at all. I didn\’t chicken out and not go the third day. I didn\’t try to do more than would make me happy by running a full marathon on the third day.

Now, a week later, I have one new toe nail and the dead skin has fallen off the insides of my big toes.

I have been perusing running calendars for months, trying to decide on what races to go in. Nothing really grabbed me until this week. And so I decided on my next marathon. It is a course I\’ve run twice before. It is very hilly. It has a 6 hour time limit. It will probably be hot. But I am focused now. I\’m happy with the focus.

And so today I ran my hills with extra energy.

When I got back to my car, parked at the library, I teased a guy parked next to me who had a huge stack of books, like 20 of the which were thick. He laughed and asked me if it was as humid as he felt. Then he said, but you are probably a beast. I guess I look like a beast in my hat, sun glasses and hydro-pak. Then I noticed that he was changing shoes and getting ready to hit the trail I had just come off of. So cool: 60 year old lady is called a beast!

Today is a day off my part time job. I slept long and I am very peaceful. It is nice to relax. I realize at this point, that I have a pretty predictable pattern of activities chosen because I like them. The person who had a career and tried to be important at work is gone. I had striven for greatness in some way for so many years. Now I am trying to sink deeper into my spiritual connections and not try to find anything out in the material world. After all, I\’ve been chasing more connection with my higher self my whole life and now I have the opportunity to be real about it. Trying to be a big hoo haa in a corporation or in my profession was a side gig and for most of my life I could hardly wait for the career to be over.

At Starbucks, we wear head sets if we are supporting the drive up window. Yesterday, I was listening to 3 shift managers talk on the head sets. As shift managers, they make very little more money than a regular barista. I guess that now that I heard what that hourly rate is, I\’m surprised at how little, except Starbucks does offer benefits, which counts for alot in my book. Other eating establishments don\’t offer the benefits. However, I do think a shift manager should be paid more than they are. But, they do seem to stick around for years so Starbucks would have no incentive to increase the pay.

Starbucks gave all of us gay pride shirts to wear during gay pride month, June. It was weird to have several drive up customers notice the shirt and want to buy one. I am not gay but work with many gay partners. I\’m suddenly realizing what a great proportion of the population really says they are gay. I wonder if it is not just that stereo-typical roles for men and women are no longer tolerable so people branch off into same sex relationships. I haven\’t been in a relationship for nearly two decades. I don\’t think I could tolerate the role that most men would want, that of dominating the female, like always being the one to drive or thinking the woman should cook dinner.

Part of my daily life is to work on my writing and learning to become a writer. The project still does not have enough momentum, but it does get a steady amount of activity, a little work every day. Twice a month, I participate in writing groups and this helps alot with momentum because I always prepare something to share. Each morning, I work on the spiritual writing project. In the afternoons, I find that I can add a paragraph or two to my novel. I can see two or three bread crumbs down the path for each project. I\’m not trying to push it. I could push it. I don\’t really want to. My latest effort is to write in an \”Upstairs Journal\” every day.

My social life is in the midst of people I have known for more than 30 years. It is amazing to me to have these connections. Especially when I realize that while I have moved around and been absent for years here and there, many of them were present for the whole time. I used to disrespect people like that. Now I respect that consistency.

Working part time as I do, I live outside the bounds of the 9 to 5 world. I am not in jail for 40 hours a week. I don\’t commute. I usually work on weekends. I am usually in a park every afternoon. I love my life now. I don\’t know really why my career job was so hated, but I clearly like how I\’m living now.

Musing and rambling done. Spirit out!

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