As I mentioned in the last blog, I am doing Inner Child listening. This morning, writing my morning pages, https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/ , I came upon a startling memory. A memory of Mary. Mary was a black lady who worked as a maid at our house every morning. In considering family systems, I had completely forgotten her.
Our family lived in a big house in the East Bay hills of the San Francisco Bay Area. At that time, Oakland was a segregated city. The black people lived in slums by the bay. The white people lived more towards the hills. The rich white people lived in the hills. We were rich white people and we had a maid, Mary. Mary worked for us for decades. I remember that she still worked for my mother after I got out of college at the age of 23. I moved away and my parent’s house burned down in a fire that typically happened in the East Bay hills. Whatever happened to Mary? When I moved away, I didn’t give her a thought, at least as I remember. Was she the one to deal with my mother after I left? My mother was the alcoholic in my family and never in recovery.
This morning, I had a memory of me as a child. I was sitting naked on my bed, knees up and wrapped by my arms, while Mary sewed up a hole in my swimsuit. It struck me that Mary probably cared about me. Yes, she was an employee, but a woman, or any person, cannot help but care. This morning, I realized that Mary had a role to play in our family system. She was providing for some of my needs, even though I didn’t realize it. She was providing for my mother’s needs, though this was not my business. The adult me today can begin to piece together some of the various pieces of what Mary must have been doing in our family. I, as a child, had tremendous support from this black woman even though I didn’t know it. Mary probably knew the truth of things in our alcoholic household. Who was Mary really? Why did she work for us as a maid instead of somewhere else? I will never know, but I send blessings and appreciation into the non-physical realm right now.
My take away is: wow! I was cared for all along. Someone did love me.
In the overall metaphysical scheme of things, it is amazing how the Spirit of the Universe can provide for us. Expand the picture of being provided for and a picture of a loving spirit emerges. The Great Consciousness which exists provides and loves. We can tap in consciously.