Day by Day – Day 21 of Fast

I got through 38 years of my career by surviving one day at a time. Very little of my career did I relish. Therefore, I always had outside things to help me. Like a daily inspirational email, or the anticipation of the next marathon race. One of the things that inspired me, helped me get out of bed, was the 3100 Mile Self Transcendence Race.

The race sounds ridiculous, but it would constitute my dream life. Jogging 61 miles a day (at least) over a 52 day period until you get to 3,100 miles. The course is a 0.5 mile city block in Queens, New York. The runners are on course about 18 hours a day. Sri Chinmoy Running provides all the aid needed to keep the runners going.

The spiritual side of the race is explained by Sri Chinmoy, now deceased. The self transcendence side of running attracted me once I heard about it because of this race. My dream retirement is to spend everyday running and self transcending. Oh wait…. that is exactly what I AM doing. I love it. 80 miles a week is about right.

Today is day 1 of 52 of Self Transcendence. Today is day 21 of 30 day process. News leaks this week were because of hurricane Ida, but no politics. I don’t know how bad the virus is or the economy or voting rights or global warming. I haven’t felt any news outlet urge me to give a shit about some unfortunate people on the other side of the globe. I feel much better. But fasting from news, abstaining from my outrage addiction, seems like it will have to transcend into a one day at a time practice. My addiction is not pulling on me as much as a few days ago. I feel better that for the next 52 days, I can update myself on the Self Transcendence Race instead of the news.

During this 30 day process, I’ve found myself interested in eating salad again. I’ve found that sugar is repulsive. I still love my coffee and green tea. I’ve started wearing yoga pants around the house. This way, I can get up and go lift weights for 15 minutes several times a day, because I already have on the right clothes. I’m not having to survive each day anymore. It is more like I thrive doing miles.

My entire life has been about the quest for the Divine Presence. Running is part of that.

“The self-transcendence aspect is particularly important in ultrarunning. In our experience as runners, there comes a point in a race when one’s physical prowess has reached its limit. To continue on, the runner must rely on his or her own inner determination, to tap into the infinite spiritual power that is within us all, which Sri Chinmoy calls the soul, the representative of the ultimate Divine Being.

For those runners who are Sri Chinmoy’s students, the 3100-Mile Race represents an affirmation of his teachings on self-transcendence, an opportunity to manifest the hidden potential of the soul in a practical and dynamic way.” (Sri Chinmoy)

This year’s runners. 5 of them are veterans

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Renaissance Appreciation

This morning, I ran 14 miles on a groomed trail in a nature sanctuary. I spent 3 hours, and it was a bit hot. I so appreciated the time, the activity and the environment.

I feel amazing about myself and about life. I am running really good, much improved over the past 8 years in Houston. I attribute this to a cooler environment, more hills and because I work at a manual job and on my feet for 24 hours a week. 60 year olds can improve their fitness.

It was a weekend of watching cross fit athletes sort out who is the fittest man/woman on earth. It has been 52 days of watching the 3,100 mile race. And here I am, running in a forest and just feeling so super pumped about it. Yesterday, I ran on my treadmill in the afternoon and I felt super pumped about that too. I was able to crank up the speed and add some incline and run run run.

My brain is better since leaving my career 11 months ago. Thanks to Starbucks, I have had to learn a whole new language. All those new synapses are a good mental workout for an entrenched brain. All the lifting and bending and walking back and forth help me too.

It is the eve of my 34th sobriety birthday. How grateful I am for my sober adult life. So much good stuff. Mostly, spiritual stuff. I have had an adult life of conscious contact with my inner being. I so appreciate that.

I am financially stable after 11 months away from my big paying career. Everything is is growing.

10 Years Ago

It was 10 years ago today, July 29, 2007, that I first started reading A Course in Miracles. I am still reading, though this year it is the new Annotated Edition published in February.

It is day 42 of the Sri Chinmoy 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence race. I\’ve been following the race every day on the Perfection Journey blog and via the web cam. This year I notice that I have interest in only one of the racers: a 58 year old woman who walks her 60+ miles each day.

In my own life, what about self transcendence? In some way, my inner silence is the evidence. At the moment, my ego is stymied so I am pretty calm. There are lots of people changes at work. That could be evidence of inner changes. I have been without potato chips since the start of the 3,100 mile race (42 days ago). More evidence. This month I will have the biggest mileage and largest number of workout hours in 2 years. Evidence of shifting. I have continued to work on my writing project. Evidence of a future.

This morning, I ran 10 miles in the Seabrook heat at a 5 mph pace. That felt good. I don\’t have any problems left over from last week\’s marathons (except for blister healing). I came away from the 2 marathons with a feeling of well being and accomplishment. It was a good thing for me to do. I can hardly wait for my quad; which will be in September.

This bit of scripture has been on my mind. It is from 1 Corinthians 13.4-7. It is the only definition of \”Love\” I really understand; and wish I could be like; especially that bit about enduring whatever comes.

\”Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited, 5.it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances. 6.Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth. 7.It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.\” 

Eve of Self Transcendence

Tomorrow is the beginning of the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race.  I got hooked on this race years ago because it taught me how running could be a meditation. Learning about the inner runner was the start of my desire to be an ultra-marathoner. Now, I use the 52 days of the race to focus my workouts on inner running; self transcendence as it were. Catholics has Lent. I have Self Transcendence.

Heading into these 52 days, I find myself in a very decent place physically and emotionally.

Check out the Perfection Journey blog to get daily stories about the people in the race.

Here is a quote from Sri Chinmoy:
The outer running
Begins on the road
And ends on the road.
The inner running begins
Inside the silence-heart,
And it continues
Along Eternity’s Road.

Can\’t Afford It

Yesterday evening I was thinking about dopamine. I was reading an article about how cell phone apps are programmed to trigger certain brain responses and encourage fixation on checking the phone. This linked up in my mind to our nation\’s, and my own, obsession with Trump entertainment. That is, the media are marketing moral outrage and something in our brain loves it.

I think it is my negative ego which loves all the controversy. I get some sort of dopamine pleasure by reading about the battles in politics with Trump. But I don\’t think I can afford to carry on this chemical pleasure; and it surely is a type of porn and addiction.

So today I drove to work in silence. My beloved NPR has been shut off. I thought about what I wanted to think about. Some of my thoughts are work related. But also I thought about what my spiritual work has produced in me. One of the themes of my spiritual work is \”conscious contact with a power greater than myself.\” One of the requirements of conscious contact with a higher power is consciousness itself. That is, I must accept consciousness in totality. As soon as I am conscious, then I am aware of my dirty little secrets, like taking pleasure from the Trump bashing. And so I must do something about myself.

I have the spiritual tools. More about what I will do will be coming forth. Starting Sunday is the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race (google it). Annually I use these days for my own self transcendence. Some people have Lent. I have self transcendence.

By the way, the last time I shut off the news for years was when Clinton was president and I decided not to listen to any testimony about Monica Lewinsky.

I am a member of the silent majority. I go to work and pay taxes. No matter who is in Washigton, they want my money.

Self Transcendence 52/52

I deeply honor all the runners in the 3,100 Self Transcendence race. Today Kaneenika finished. She is the last finisher, though 5 more runners will stay on the course until midnight tonight. The video of Kaneenika bring tears to my eyes. Think, I sometimes cry for myself after a marathon. Think of the emotion after 3,100 miles and 51+ days.

Perhaps these emotions are why I run marathons. The human spirit comes forward into the conscious realm.

Today at work, a little spat with my snarky boss. But the guy in the shop was incredibly nice to me, going over board to help me.

I need to remember my human spirit.

Self Transcendence 50/52

Only 12 people start the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence race. This year, 2 didn\’t finish the number of days, 5 will finish the 3,100 miles, the rest are doing as many miles as possible. The rest of the people in world didn\’t start. Or did something else. It takes me a year to do 3,100 miles.

Today, I went outside for 3 1/2 hours, only 2 of which were jogging. Then it was too hot for me so I walked until I ran out of drink. Then I walked home and decided to finish today\’s workout on the treadmill. At least some jogging occurs on the treadmill. In total, I got 19.4 miles in 5 hours.

While I was outside, I thought of my favorite 3,100 mile runner. It was astonishing yesterday to see a video of the start for that day. She was limping badly. This was on top of the daily blog where there has been a picture of her getting out of a van. You can tell it is a difficult task. Yet, she still does more than 50 miles each day. It is a thing of contemplation, her body-mind relationship. In the middle of it, is her spiritual teacher.

And I gave some thought to pictures of the US men\’s gymnastics team without their shirts. Wow!

Also, I was doing my own metaphysical work. This means, watching my thoughts. When they get stuck on some resentment towards another person or society, I need to move that energy out. Change the thought. My Course in Miracles lesson today was \”My home awaits me. I will hasten there.\” And to lift your head and notice Silent Consciousness which exists in the trees. Become aware of Something Higher and don\’t let my mind stay in resentment.

When I got on my treadmill, I was looking at cue cards I have. Over time, I have written meaning full sentences from ACIM Text on the cards; so I can be reminded while I am on my treadmill. Things like the ego\’s goals, specialness, Love, Oneness, The Holy Spirit.

But I didn\’t take my body to excruciating pain like those ultra runners. I will go for a walk later since I have a vacation day tomorrow.

Only 2 more days to my self transcendence retreat. I will miss checking on the runners and the focus on my own self transcendence. I will also note that this important annual celebration of my personal history is gone for another year. There will be more miles and more marathons. I have a spiritual dream that I need to keep alive.

Self Transcendence 48/52

Only a few days left in the 3,100 Self Transcendence Race. 4 people have finished the distance. 1 more will finish the distance on the last day. 5 others are doing amazing miles. They are inspiring me. When I was running this morning, all I could think about was doing more miles. And so, well, ok, just do them. No need to enter a race. I almost entered a 6 day race. But the $666 entry fee caused me to balk; especially considering the air fare and hotel and car.

Instead, maybe I\’ll just do a private multi-day. I\’ll keep you posted.

This is a special time of year; and I am taking a 3 day weekend to ponder it. 31 years ago, I got sober. Sobriety is much more than not drinking. In a 12 step approach, I\’ve been granted conscious contact with a power greater than myself. It is this, the walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe, which is fantastic. Yes, being a drunk would have been a horrible life. But just not drinking would be a horrible life too.

Also, 13 years ago I got kicked out of the convent. That was an amazing thing how that all worked out.

Also, 9 years ago, I became a Course in Miracles student. A Course in Miracles has given me so much spirituality.

Self Transcendence 47/52

Two guys finished the race today. Very amazing. There was actually a neck and neck (sort of) race for first.

The other runners will finish in the coming days. Even those who do not complete 3,100 miles still have amazing piles of miles.

I have a story. I think it is a self transcendence story because it suggests a non-ego state of mind. It suggests a state of mind in cooperation with the Spirit of the Universe.

More than about 10 days ago, a piece of debris on the freeway got tiddly-winked up by another car and it smacked my front bumper. When I got home, I saw that the bumper was cracked and one of the lower lights was broken. I didn\’t know what to do. None of the near by body shops is a clean place where I wanted to take my car. But I did go over to one of them just to see what they said.

Driving home (3 blocks), I decided to let go and let the universe guide me. Stop trying to control.

Coming home, I checked my car insurance and decided that the repair would be enough to justify a claim. So I called the insurance company just to see how a claim works. I\’ve never filed one before. The outstanding feature was that they give me a choice of two approved body shops and my policy has rental car on it. Just knowing a good body shop was worth the call. In elegant fashion, I had, within a couple of days, dropped off my car. I never gave it much more thought. Almost forgot about it.

A few days later, I asked the shop when my car would be done. They mentioned that the bumper came in damaged and they had to order another and so my car would be a day or two late. Getting off the phone, parts of A Course in Miracles came into my mind. I thought, \”I am not a victim of the world I see.\” This thought is a metaphysical truth. My thoughts have an impact on my perception and what I think I see, my reality. I also remembered that I had decided to let The Universe take care of this situation.

So that day, I didn\’t get all pissed off at the body shop. I just went on with life. Then I called the body shop on the original day my car was supposed to be done, a day or 2 earlier than the new promised date, and they said my car would be ready that day at 3 pm. Wow! No need to waste my energy on being pissed off. The Universe has taken care of this situation. It is an example of how we can walk hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. And change the world.

One last thing about the winner of the 3,100 mile Self Transcendence race. Yesterday, he gave an interview. He said, \”The world has let me go.  Everything that was binding me has left.  Right now I am just a soul bird.  For a bird there are no limitations, no boundaries.  But I have a body and I do all I can and this turns out to be 70 miles a day….I am not doing this for the records.  I am doing this to bring happiness to my soul.  To bring happiness to God and to be able to approach him faster.  This is why my speed has increased.”

Is that not beautiful? It matches very well with my Course in Miracles workbook lesson today: \”God is my life. I have no life but His.\”

Every thought of God makes me happy.

Self Transcendence 36/52

Several of the runners in the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race are having trouble. Some who have finished it several times before are struggling. Yet they keep going; even knowing that on day 52, midnight, they won\’t be at 3,100 miles. It seems sad. Why don\’t they quit?

Because it is the inner miles and not the outer miles that matter. The actual number of material world miles, 3,100, does not judge the number of inner miles. Any one of us can cross a universe instantly.

I myself have always compared my state of enlightenment to what gurus write in their books. I wonder why I haven\’t had a bright light experience. (Well, I haven\’t taken LSD for one thing.) But when I look at my inner miles, I see I am OK.

I had an unusual week. Monday I had to fast all day and then drink some poison to clean out my colon. Tuesday I had a colonoscopy. Wednesday I met my energy healer in the energy plane and on the phone. Thursday my car got whapped by a chunk of metal on the freeway and I filed an insurance claim. Friday was pretty normal: I worked from home. While at home, I tried out my new pressure cooker. A pressure cooker is a decent analogy for cooking spiritual growth. That is, creating an environment where spiritual ideas can be cooked quickly rather than taking a lifetime to figure them out.

Today, I decided to give up heat related ailments and do my running inside on the treadmill. So also, I slept in very late. And I have time now to write this blog.

I am finishing a book by Paul Brunton. I have read 18 of his books in the past 8 or so years. He is a philosopher of both east and west. He best explains the nature of reality as thought and oneness. I am a person who thinks alot. I may look like I am training for a race, but actually, I am thinking about things. I am integrating my life experiences with what I know of truth. Rightly motivated exercise can be a pressure cooker for spiritual ideas, Thought. So can illness or calamity, but I prefer the consciously generated environment.

Only 16 more days of Self Transcendence retreat.