This morning, I read this from ACIM Text chapter 22 (highlight is mine):
\”When you come to the place where the branch in the road is quite apparent, you cannot go ahead. You must go either one way or the other. For now if you go straight ahead, the way you went before you reached the branch, you will go nowhere. The whole purpose of coming this far was to decide which branch you will take now. The way you came no longer matters. It can no longer serve. No one who reaches this far can make the wrong decision, although he can delay. And there is no part of the journey that seems more hopeless and futile than standing where the road branches, and not deciding on which way to go.
2 It is but the first few steps along the right way that seem hard, for you have chosen, although you still may think you can go back and make the other choice. This is not so. A choice made with the power of Heaven to uphold it cannot be undone. Your way is decided. There will be nothing you will not be told, if you acknowledge this.\”
It is helpful to me to realize that \”I have decided.\” See my ego wants to waffle around about spirituality. But the \”something else\” part of my mind clearly is moving forward with spirituality. This insistence on knowing God carries forward no matter: how many atheists I meet, how many Christians I meet, how humiliating getting kicked out of a monastery is, how much work demands, how much running demands.
In fact, one reason I get up early, live alone and work is so I can have a quiet hour to do spiritual study. I mean, I need money in order to provide this atmosphere for myself. I need to get out of bed to have this time for contemplation.
Since I have been in pursuit of God for decades, motivated only by spirit, I say that is a witness to the decision.