Immediate Help

Last evening,I fell into an emotional hole. I knew that if I continued to think the thoughts I was thinking, I end up going down a certain path which I didn\’t think I wanted to go down. I knew I needed help from my Inner Being. I hadn\’t truly been conscious of the fact that I had fallen into an emotional hole or why. I felt down on myself and despairing of ever been good enough for my work situation. Clarity was achieved this morning. I slept good and long and I have a day off to reflect.

Be that as it may, last night, I asked for help from my Inner Being, and help was immediately sent. I noticed it. First, as I was driving to a fellowship meeting, I felt gratitude for the work situation which seemed to be troubling me. That is, I remembered the positive aspects. Second, at the fellowship, I sat next to a man who has known me for more than 30 years, and who also is a wise man older than me. Out of the blue, he said, \”You seem completely different since you came back. Completely relaxed.\” Well, this was someone else seeing in me what I could not see in myself, at least not in a moment of emotional turmoil. A gift from the Higher Power since I immediately felt the truth of it. This man has been associating with me for the past year, so however I felt in the moment, my overall vibration is relaxed. Third, the fellowship discussion was on \”Go With the Flow.\” Wait another synchronous event, message from non-physical, reply of the Higher Power. And several people shared how they do prayer and meditation. These three things helped me relax and realize that I need do nothing about my situation.

This morning, after that long sleep, I realize that working 6 days in a row may have exhausted me, and when I am exhausted, I am very emotionally sensitive. And my perception of events at work yesterday left my inner child in emotional turmoil. It seems reasonable now, but last night I was spiraling into an emotional hole.

This morning, having a day off,  I pulled out my writing work and continued my editing. This is the first thing I read:

Have mercy on yourself. Stop and be calm a moment. Look inside. We all need to get beyond the raging thoughts in our heads, and get to know our truth. 
“As soon as we settle down in hope and confidence to discover the deeper forces within ourselves, they begin to become active.” (Brunton, The Quest for the Over Self, pg 206)
Meditate/ contemplate on your own depths and inner strengths. These are your silent deeper forces. They wait for your attention. Merely shift focus from your obsession to the depths of your being. Get beyond the raging obsessive thoughts and pay attention to the deeper forces.
Listen and new thoughts will come into your mind.

Shoot. My own writing really helped me: Have mercy on yourself.

Also this morning, I got an e-mail from someone who appreciated me. That was super great timing. All the above is to say: I get it. The Universe helps me along. My Inner Being gives me the information I need. Without the synchronicity, or the ability to notice it, I could have headed down a path to changing my life in unnecessary ways. When really, my life is arranged at the moment in a way which facilitates carrying out my dream. I need patience and perseverance because carrying out the dream takes time. Also, related to my emotional turmoil and carrying out my dream, I watched a video yesterday about a woman who saved a kitten. She said she accomplished saving the kitten through \”pure stubborn-ness.\” And for me to accomplish my dream, I need stubborn-ness.

I need do nothing. For the next several weeks, my work schedule returns to a normal pattern of only working 2 or 3 days in a row, not six. I can return to my writing project.

I\’m going in a race this weekend. The weather looks perfect. Yee Ha!

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Lifestyle

I was reading this blog .

This impressed me alot: \”There’s a lot of hand-wringing going on these days about the epidemic of “lifestyle diseases.” You know the list: obesity, diabetes, heart disease and by some accounts, depression and neurological disorders. A lot of people are doing good work in these areas but sadly, we don’t seem to be making much progress. These afflictions–also described by the World Health Organization as “non-communicable diseases–continue to kill millions of people worldwide each year.

So maybe it’s time to flip our perspective upside down. Instead of talking about “lifestyle disease,” maybe it’s time to start talking about “diseased lifestyles.” This simple reversal will yield some new insights. Instead of focusing on the illnesses that plague our bodies, let’s get to the heart of the matter, the way we live in the modern world.

The distinction is crucial. A “lifestyle disease” is a pathological medical condition of the body’s tissue or organs: the pancreas is exhausted from trying to keep pace with a flood of refined sugars, the abdomen is distended with pro-inflammatory adipose tissue, the coronary arteries are clogged, the heart is enlarged and the blood pressure is high. A “diseased lifestyle” on the other hand, is a disease of perspective, behavior and relationship; it’s the way we’re living that’s out of whack.\”

And then I went out jogging. I was thinking about what I do that is different from the Standard American Diet, and lack of exercise. But I was also thinking about A Course in Miracles and it\’s instructions for healing the mind. And also, I was thinking about my expedition next June. Specifically, I worry that some body part, like a knee, won\’t be able to complete the longest part of the race.

But then I began to visualize finishing the most difficult part. I could see myself coming to the small group of people at the finish banner, and choking up with emotion that I had completed the course.

I am sure I don\’t want to spend the next 8 months worrying about failure. I\’d rather spend it feeling success.

Then, I thought about aging and end of life. And I thought, instead of worrying about the pain of diminishment, I\’d think about the success of being ready to blow out the candle.

I can do this every day too. Oh sure, I\’ll have bad moods and crabby moments. But I don\’t have to have an overall approach to life that is worrisome about physical problems. It is consciousness that allows me to improve my outlook. But also, it relies on their being a higher consciousness towards which I can communicate and relate.

I suppose my life depends on that higher aspect. And now, I can only contemplate it, not explain it.

Help

Driving home tonight, I was thinking about my decision to believe in a higher power; not just a benign higher power but one that helps me. That\’s when my break through occurred.

What help is it that I get? Not help in the material world, as in: pulling strings so I get what I want. I get help with my thoughts. I get help with ego renunciation and transcendence. That is, if I truly honestly want love based thinking, I get help. But still, I have to choose and decide to seriously take the help. I have to actually give up resenting that person and back stabbing them with my thoughts and words. Key word here is actual, ACTUAL.

Several times a day, I realize I\’m resenting someone. Right then, as soon as I realize it, I ask for the help and then accept the help and then ACTUALLY deny those thoughts and words.

I want my life to be about self transcendence. In that case, any bit of unfairness at work is a practice. What I want is not a great career but love based thinking. If a great career is a by-product of the spiritual work, so be it; but career success is not the goal.