To Care for My Soul

 That long essay regarding failure to understand a philosophy exam helped me to feel better. This activity felt like I was caring for myself. Instead of letting my emotions rage, or trying to bury them, I worked them out in writing.

Your soul is not some mysterious thing. It is the entity that lives here in you, with all its various levels of awareness. 

Taking the time to process your emotions. Taking the time to listen inwardly. Taking the time to reason things out. Taking the time to become aware of yourself, who you really are. These are examples of taking care of your soul.

It seems to me, at times, that my whole job here on earth is caring for my soul. All my relationships enhance and expand this activity. So caring for my soul must be a relationship with my soul. Does it help to call my soul my inner being? That being which is quieter than my emotional thoughts? Become aware of that quieter presence inside. It helps a lot to pay attention to it. 

Bad Ass Marathon

I have a friend who thinks I am a bad ass. I haven\’t known how to respond to that since I don\’t feel like a bad ass.

However….after today, maybe I do.
Wouldn\’t someone who has run, as of today, 100 marathons in her life be a bad ass? Or who ran a 100 mile race? Or became a millionaire? Or who finished monastic formation? Or successfully accomplished FIRE (financial independence retire early)? Or who had been sober for 34 years? Or hold down a job at Starbucks at the age of 62? Or, many other things I have accomplished in this life.
So, someone who completed a 600+ mile virtual race across Tennessee, in half the allotted time, ought to be a bad ass. 
Well, a few days ago, I did the math and saw that I was getting down to the end of my race across Tennessee.  A tiny thought went through my mind, \”Do a marathon to finish it off.\” Along side of this impending finish was the fact that I had failed to complete a virtual marathon during April because when I had got to 22 miles, my feet hurt and I quit because a virtual race didn\’t mean anything.
Well that is a good idea: finish off a 600+ mile/ 2 month effort with a celebration by running a marathon. Be a bad ass! But also, I felt a little resistance because of that failure in April. Should I try this again? I didn\’t want to feel like a failure again. I haven\’t done that many miles in one run for awhile. Can I do it?
To sign up for the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee was an impulse from my inner being to begin with. It felt so right. And, 20,000 other people, and some dogs, have joined me. My success at carrying out the project was effected by alignment with my inner being. My energy was lined up with my inner being and momentum was generated to complete the project. In fact, I have been obsessed with getting miles every day, even walking on the treadmill to complete miles in the afternoon after a shift at work.
But, to do a marathon by myself, I needed more than a vague idea. I needed to strongly intend to do it. I needed emotional momentum. I needed to line my energy up with the idea. This means some practical activities like getting all my drinks ready the night before. Taping my toes. Setting my alarm clock. It is hot here so a person has to get up early to finish running a marathon. Still, I had to sit down with my journal last night and explore my fears. I had to complete a focus wheel to raise my vibration in relation to the idea. I had to segment intend by remembering how I felt during a 50 mile race last November when I had been in the zone and finished trouble free. I had to think honestly about this upcoming segment and my intentions for it. Was the idea an ego idea that would fail or an inner being idea which would succeed? It is up to me to decide and then  line up with the energy. These energy activities are to experience the success in advance so it is the cause. 
The alarm went off at 4 am. I did have to decide at that point whether to get out of bed. That has happened before too, not making it out of bed I mean. But I did get the idea of how I would feel if I completed a marathon versus how I would feel if I went back to sleep. I remembered how good it feels to run in the early morning coolness. I chose getting up.
I had a cup of coffee. The bad ass idea went across my mind. A bad ass has to get up early if she wants to do a bad ass thing. I did a meditation on physical well being. I felt much better. I felt like I just needed to be easy about it. I grabbed my hydro pack out of the refrigerator and made it out the door by 5 am.
I had planned to complete the marathon in two parts. First running from my front door and then going to a park with many trees during the hotter part. The first part went super well. It went so well that I extended it to 18.3 miles before getting back to home base. It was mostly cloudy and I felt appreciation that such a cool morning had been given to me. 
When I got home, it was still cloudy and I had to decide where to complete the run. To go back out from my house or go to the park. I thought about how clouds can suddenly vanish and I thought about how much easier it is to run in the shade. I picked the shade. So I hopped in my car and drove the two miles to the park. Good choice. The clouds did disappear and by the time I had finished off the final eight miles, it was 87F. Course map (the straight line from green dot to hash mark is in the car, but not included in miles):
What surprised me however was that my feet and legs didn\’t reach any devastating level of pain. For the run, I had plenty of emotional momentum to keep going, but also, I wasn\’t in trouble with blisters. I didn\’t bonk.My feet didn\’t hurt. My hip didn\’t hurt. It was amazing. It has been a long time since I have felt so in the zone for a long distance effort. 
The Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee is now complete. I will finish in roughly 1,590th place of 20,000. I feel like a bad ass.
I have the corona virus to thank for my amazing athletic feats of the past 3 months. Without corona there wouldn\’t be these virtual races. Actually, the corona virus has been very good to me. Everything about me is thriving at the moment. My mode of existence has shifted. There are many people who are doing amazing things during this corona virus time. Not everybody is worried about sickness. Just look around you and you will see them.
Stay tuned. I have another virtual race coming in two weeks. It includes a 50k race which has to be done in one effort. 

Stress Relief

Pretty much everybody nowadays is picking a path of least resistance to relieve their fears of corona virus. Only those who are for sure steeped in well being, or have created a future, or are in alignment with their inner being, are not afraid of the virus. The president of the United States is a man who is afraid. His path of least resistance to deal with his fear is to take a drug with no known effect on corona virus, but since he believes it will help him, the idea will work for him. We get what we believe. We are all doing something which we believe in.

I\’m running across Tennessee and working at Starbucks and escaping into fiction. I\’m doing my morning meditation, journaling and pre-paving well being for each day. I do all these things regardless of any virus. My activity choices are things I want to do, and would be doing without any corona fears. My choices give me alignment with my inner being and well being for a reality. No just well being but prospering and thriving.

Speaking of thriving. It is May 20. In the past 20 days, I have completed 232.6 miles across Tennessee. Only 389 to go. Here is a course map showing where I was as of yesterday:

Today I had a delightful long run. It was awesome to spend nearly 4 hours in a forest.

This run was an out and back of 16.3 miles. I carried my hydro-pak and used 4 gels. I did NOT get any blisters. Along the way, someone had written encouraging words on the bike path like \”You are loved,\” and \”You can do it!\” It was cool, like I received a message from my inner being. I have another day off tomorrow, so plenty of time for more miles.

In my post lock down job at Starbucks, I find myself incredibly appreciative and energized. In fact, I\’ve never loved life so much as I do now.

Yesterday I heard Dan Harris interviewed by Terrie Gross on Fresh Air. I learned about Loving Kindness meditation. And so when I go to bed at night, I do the loving kindness meditation until I fall asleep. So wonderful.

Ultra Spirit – #268 Nourishment

#268 Nourishment
As an addict, stop for a moment and think of nourishment. Nourish is a lovely word. Maybe it is time to yearn, to long for nourishment of body, mind and spirit. Not another bag of chips or another TV program or church. Over fed on society\’s food, we are starving.
Feel what it would be like to have an infusion of super food to body, mind and spirit. It comes from within. Feel it filling you
Right now, take down your belief barriers. Stop dis-sing yourself. Feel an infusion of goodness, of inner nourishment coming from the boundary of creative light, new energy just for you.

Quiet and Wet

This weekend, there is no excitement with racing. I am quietly doing miles. Owing to a stationary low pressure, Houston has been drenched all week and it continues to rain.

This morning, I thought about the treadmill. But, nah! It wasn\’t raining that hard and was pretty warm. So I went outside for my run. I ran pretty fast for 7 miles. It surprised me how fast.

Then I went out again in the afternoon. I was taking it easy by walking and jogging on a path by a lake. I went there to be near water. It did rain some more. For awhile it was very light, but finally a downpour with wind so I stopped as I was getting cold and not having fun. 14 miles total today.

This evening I did a strength workout of 34 minutes. Now my shoulders are quivering. I did this workout while listening to Garrison Keeler on A Prairie Home Companion. He was cracking jokes about his seizure earlier this week. He will retire in July. I will miss his shows.

I am reading a book written before 1900. Maybe more like 1800. It is upstairs so I don\’t have it in front of me. I love the detailed writing style.

Today I downloaded a voice recording app to my ipad. And I recorded my own voice reading a meditation. I think it will work very well to go deeper into Mind. Last weekend, when I was in the zone, I learned about my inner self. This weekend in my running and meditating and silence, I am learning about my inner self also. What I know about my inner self is it\’s drive. It has an urgent need to push forward.

Tomorrow, there will be more miles.