This morning, during my morning meditation, I had a big breakthrough in understanding. I\’m sure I got a glimpse of the way my Inner Being sees things.
Here is a story:
10 months ago, I quit my high paying corporate job and started a part time job at Starbucks. And ever since, some part of my brain has been annoyed with this situation. See, I\’m a 60 year old well funded, retiree, ex-engineer. What the heck am I doing working with twenty year olds for ten dollars an hour? Sure, I can make up some pragmatic reasons like I get my health care from Starbucks, or I\’m too young to sit in the house \”retired.\”
But thats not really it.
The reasons have to go deeper or they are not satisfying. The reasons have to be related to my conscious contact with my spiritual Inner Being, or they are not satisfying.
So, a little bit of back story.
The real reason I quit my job was to design and live Phase 3 of my life. I wanted to take my little ship and go off into the metaphorical high seas, exploring and learning, before I got too old to do such things. I had some writing ideas and I wanted to become a writer.
But what the heck am I doing at Starbucks? Especially since it is more difficult to work at Starbucks than you would imagine. There is a whole new language to learn, there are hundreds of drinks and sauces to learn to make. You have to learn the location of hundreds of buttons in the cash register, and quickly find them when needed. Being on your feet and using fast thinking is totally different from being an engineer who thinks everything through slowly and sits at a computer all day. Compared to the young people, I feel so slow and stupid. I feel out of place.
So what the heck am I doing there?
Well, it has to do with energy and vibration. And that is the break through in understanding I had this morning. Finally I might perceive how my Inner Being sees this situation.
At Starbucks, I am in a fast paced environment with young people who are trying to find their way in this world, still going to school and putting together the pieces. At the corporate job, I was in a slow environment with people who all made tons of money, had all the material possessions, were near the end of their careers, and basically were not learning or growing at all.
So, since my plan is to build Phase 3 of my life as something entirely new and different from my corporate life, then it is a huge blessing that I now hang around young people who are trying to build their lives. The young people have an energy and a vibration about them which is different than the old people I used to work with. My feelings of being out of place at Starbucks, and feeling like I can\’t keep up, are just symptoms of my energy pattern out of harmony with their energy pattern. But over time, my energy pattern is achieving higher frequency and matching the young energy pattern.
So, it is much better for a person hoping to build a new life at the age of 60 to have a young energy pattern. I need to vibrate like a young person in order to do what they are doing, putting together the pieces of a new life.
So, now I embrace the difficulties at work and am at peace with it because it is just a shift in energy patterns. The difficulty is just what it feels like when your energy pattern is out of sync with someone else\’s. In this case, I want to have their energy pattern. So I am living through the discomfort.
And you know what? Today at work, they put me on bar so I can start learning how to make some of those many many drinks Starbucks has.
Spiritual exercises are so worth it. If I don\’t persist in meditating and connecting with my Inner Being, I\’d never know what is going on energetically. Perhaps I wouldn\’t be able to build a new life without understanding the energy, and hanging in there for the change. Maybe I would just vegetate and slowly die.
I really want to experience full aliveness in this life. In my old corporate job, I wasn\’t fully alive. I was going to jail every morning and collecting the money. I couldn\’t stand it. I\’d much rather be out in the waves navigating new things. Maybe this is what self transcendence really is and I\’m really doing it.