A Day of Good

Are not these nuns dressed in ridiculous fashion? They think this habit adds to spirituality. the habit is a sign of renunciation of the world? The men are dressed as Benedictine monks have dressed for centuries. I think the women should not cover their heads. That is Pauline Christianity; not what Jesus said and did.

I was happy yesterday. I felt happy.

My day started at 4 in the morning by doing something for work. It was for a guy in Germany so I did it. Then I could see that the colleague who annoys me had sent an e-mail. I knew that I would be annoyed when I opened that e-mail so I left it for later. I got on my elliptical and prayed for myself, that I could help my colleague and not accept my ego anger. I needed spiritual help.

Truly, I forgot my resentment. Truly, when I got to work (at 6:30 am), I also had e-mails from Chinese colleague who also annoys. I treated the requests very well. I was not annoyed. I attribute this to honest spiritual work. I know I have no right to be annoyed by anyone.

On the way to work, I noticed that NPR was having their pledge drive. I was 100% certain I wanted to give this time. I did remember to do it when I got home from work.

One colleague is going to Germany next week. She was on her own and a bit frightened. I told her about calling credit card companies, contacting the company cell phone person to get international service turned on, to get the proper hotel bill, about getting cash in the airport, about the ICE train, about the taxi in Leverkusen, about the shopping around the hotel. No one had told her.

I did have a friendly talk with a colleague. She was happy for that.

I did do some of the more boring and tedious parts of my work. I felt good about that.

I got groceries after work. The Kroger hires mentally challenged adults to bag groceries. One time several months ago, I had been in the store in a bad mood and was rude to the guy who bagged my groceries. I felt bad about it later. He had bagged my groceries perfectly but I had been rude. Yesterday was the first time I had seen him since I was rude. I remembered to be very nice and tell him he did a good job. This guy always asks if he did ok; so I was happy and told him so.

In between all this goodness, my ego had time to bad mouth someone and act immature and complain. Occasionally, I get a day of ego peace. But mostly, my ego spews out negative thoughts about everyone. Only by conscious continuous effort do I have inner peace. I need to know I am worth it and keep up the activity.

I look forward to about 2 weekends with no races. I look forward to the nice trails of Seabrook and hours spent in slow walk/jog. It is the sweaty time of year. From now until October, only humid and warm weather. I think I like it though. Some part of my mind wants to be out in it.

Just run marathons. It is good for you.

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Thanksgiving 2012 – Results

I read 3 nun books this weekend. One nun realized that the Roman Catholic church is wrong about a number of things; but still thinks the Bible is true. Another left her order but never left the church; and realized that she didn\’t fit into life anywhere. Another book was just stories about various nuns in various orders. Since one of the stories was about someone I knew and several places I had visited, I could see that it was still a romanticized and pedestalized work of fiction.

I had a fantastic workout day yesterday. I\’m itching to move from the 20k to the 50k at the race next Saturday. The HSE department at work is tremendously bust for the next 6 months as a massive turn around gets underway at our chempark.

So, something happened over my Thanksgiving retreat. I felt extreme happiness with myself. Last night as I finished the 3rd book I made an internal decision: I\’m going to quit being a nun. That is, I\’ve been out of the convent 9.5 years. Certain ideas and attitudes need to be forgotten as they aren\’t Truth to begin with.

I still won\’t eat meat. I\’ll still abstain from alcohol since it is poison.  I\’ll still be a Course in Miracles student. I\’ll still run my ass off. But I\’m quitting certain other behaviors. I\’ll share as I go along.

This morning, I was up at my usual 3:19 to do spiritual study before working out. From ACIM 26.VII.17: Forgiveness is the answer to attack of any kind. So is attack deprived of its effects, and hate is answered in the name of love.

This is ACIM in a tweet. Forgiveness is looking beyond the illusion/delusion. Attack is all these thoughts against others, a sign of inner hate and fear. And remembering Love as the only reality or real existence, all problems are solved and fear ended. I can live by this and I need it to have a happy day.

As I said yesterday, \”You create your own reality dummy.\” So project happy instead of fear and you\’ve got it made.

That and a massive load of endorphins will get you what you want.