Remembering God

One of the reasons I maintain a contemplative life is for the purpose of remembering God. I need to give time to Silence. It is important. I seem to want this more than many people who are mainly busy; so my conscious contact does remember God for everyone. If you ask me to pray for you, what you get is me remembering God for you.

From ACIM:

  • There is no pain, no trial, no fear that teaching this (Atonement, release from guilt) can fail to overcome. The power of God Himself supports this teaching, and guarantees its limitless results.
  • For peace is the acknowledgement of perfect purity (innocence), from which no one is excluded.
  • The power of God draws everyone to its safe embrace of love and union.
  • Teach peace with me (Jesus), and stand with me on holy ground. Remember for everyone your Father\’s power…

In my silence, I contemplate the power of God within. The power of God is within everyone, and as I sit in silence, I remember it for each one who may have forgot. This is my gift to the ego world.

Today, I got up at 5 am; and it was raining. I flipped on the computer and looked at the radar. Freezing rain was very close. So, I moved my car from the garage up to the street; and went back to bed. No trips to the city this morning. When I got up again at 8, I looked out on ice encrusted trees.

Today I think I am beginning a 7 day juice fast for the purpose of cleansing body, mind and spirit. A juice fast is a gift to me. Giving myself a vacation from eating is a gift. I considered my feelings about a juice fast in relation to the power of God. My main fear of a juice fast is that I will cheat and not finish it; hence feeling guilty and ashamed. Looking at this fear, I understand why I would hesitate. ACIM will teach me that it is an ego fear, designed to stop me; and not a Holy Spirit creation. The power of God is limitless. Do I believe it? Do I believe the power of God would support me in giving myself a gift? Do I trust that power to enable my fast, which is really a prayer opportunity?

Truly, each has to answer for themself: Do you believe in God? Do you believe that He made you good and supports your journey toward remembering? Often, we wait until we are in dire straits before asking God for help, or even remembering God in any way. Please, give God some regular time. He will take your miniscule \”carving out\” time for holy remembering.

May we someday realize that God is the only reality and fling ourselves upon the Divine Presence with our entire lives. It is that momentous, that audacious, that wonderful: to live in the Divine Presence AND KNOW IT.

Shalom, time to go running.


Awesome Freedom

I am wrapping up my Christmas holiday with an elated state of mind; almost as if I had just crossed the finish line of a marathon. I spent Christmas breaking the Christmas rules. I even broke the Christian rules. I did not do what you are supposed to do. As I constantly kept returning my mind to the Light, time passed and I came to a new realization. Christmas is not real. All it is is a set of ego rules. If it was real, I\’m sure the Holy Spirit or Jesus would have mentioned it. But, all I see in Christmas is ego rules for what you \”should\” do; and if you don\’t follow the rules, your ego screams. My ego told me how I better be terrified if anyone finds out I broke the rules; there could be repercussions for non-believers.

So… I laughed. My ego is the tiny mad idea. As a Son of God, I remembered to laugh. I remembered to look beyond this world and use Christ vision to see only Light. I am sinless. I am not guilty. No one is guilty. All are sinless. We are in God; always safe and always at peace. Christmas is just an ego dream, an illusion; not real. Peace is real.

My Gift

The greatest gift I have to give all humanity this Christmas is to sit before The Father of Light, receive His Peace and project His Peace. Everyone will be touched in some way by His Peace.

I am in your heart and you are in mine. There is nothing greater than this Great Love which truely exists. This Reality is Heaven. The experience of it is the most magnificent thing possible.

I kneel before you and hold out His Peace.



The rubber meets the road. Put up or shut up. Shi* or get off the pot. When push comes to shove. When Course meets world. What do we do? These times of seeming turmoil over a decision are intensive times of spiritual practice. For an ACIM Course student, they are times of: choosing the Holy Spirit instead of the ego; accepting the Atonement; forgiving; choosing happiness over guilt; choosing love over fear; etc.

From the Text: \”Each day, each hour and minute, even each second, you are deciding between the crucifixion and the resurrection; between the ego and the Holy Spirit. The ego is the choice for guilt; the Holy Spirit is the choice for guiltlessness. The power of decision is all that is yours…there are no alternatives except truth and illusion.\”

So, what should I do? This or that? Or maybe this other? Which one would I choose because I would feel more guilty if I didn\’t? Which one would I choose because I am more afraid of those people\’s feelings than these?

Jesus and the Holy Spirit are giving me a work out on this one. I explore my guilt and fear, and give it to Jesus. What I do cannot be based on the form of illusion but the content of the Holy Spirit\’s teaching. \”Shining quietly within is the Atonement.\” \”My errors never occurred.\”

I am at work. I am drinking distilled water. I worked out this morning and will do another work out this afternoon. I practice The Course. \”May I bring peace…\” I choose truth: \”God is everywhere and His Son is in Him with everything.\” My ego\’s dream always offers disappointment. I don\’t delude myself on this. What ever the ego world offers me, I have to return to The Course and use it to heal my mind, offering a different way of seeing to others, teaching only peace.

I do not choose to \”do\” this or that. I choose to sit quietly with Love and project peace. This or that will happen. My body may be in one place or another. Christ is my vision and my consicousness.

I am a spiritual athlete. I am always training and working out.


This morning I had a difficult time getting out of bed. Then, as I sat at my table, I could feel fear and hatred building within me. I did not want to go to work, face whatever comes up and be responsible. I could feel hatred of responsiblity.

I glanced down at my ACIM text:

  • Open the dark cornerstone of terror on which it (the ego) rests, and bring it out into the light.
  • …everything of which you have been afraid was based on nothing (meaninglessness, delusion, projection).
  • …the little spark in your mind is enough…
  • I (Jesus) give you the lamp and I will go with you.
  • His (God\’s) thought system is light.
  • You dwell in the Mind of God with your brother…

In the Bible, Jesus says, \”Be not afraid…my peace I give to you…\”

I realized I was back at the decision point. I did not have to be afraid. I could choose to accept the peace of Christ. My ego absolutely does not want to go and serve. My ego hates me because I have been refusing to attack my brother and learning to choose the belief that I live in God. So my ego generates fear and hatred for \”them\” and \”what-ever-is-out-there-which-could-hurt-me.\” None of that is true. It is all false perception and I can choose to believe Jesus instead.

Daniel Day 38

Only two more days of my official Daniel Fast. Except for the issue of coffee, I hope to remain in the spirit of Daniel; and Elijah, John Baptist and Anna the prophetess who fasted and prayed in the temple night and day for decades. I hope for my whole life to be God\’s temple where I remain in continuous prayer. I hope to remain a raw foodist, free from the corruption and addiction of society\’s food. I mean society\’s food on several levels: body, mind and spirit.

From ACIM:

  • It is not my (Jesus\’) merit that I contribute to you but my love, for you do not value yourself.
  • …my (Jesus\’) value of you can heal you (your mind)…
  • Peace comes from God through me (Jesus) to you.
  • When a brother is sick (sickness originates in the mind) it is because he is not asking for peace…
  • My peace I give to you…though you may not ask…
  • The acceptance of peace is the denial of illusion (denial of the ego world and thought system), and sickness is an illusion.
  • I (Jesus) will heal you merely because I have one message and it is true. Your faith in it will make you whole when you have faith in me.
  • You could accept peace now for everyone, and offer them perfect freedom from all illusions because you heard His Voice.

In the Rule of Benedict it says:

  • …seek after peace and pursue it…
  • …let us hear with awestruck ears what the divine voice, crying out daily, doth admonish us…

I learned this morning how the mechanism works whereby I switch from the Holy Spirit\’s thought system to the ego\’s thought system. The reason I am interested is because believing and acting on the ego\’s thoughts cause me to be afraid, hateful and angry; essentially living in a hellish prison. The Holy Spirit\’s thoughts give me abundant freedom, life, love and peace; Heaven right now.

Out of the blue, two days ago, a recruiter called me to see if I was interested in an environmental job in the Kansas City area. I engaged with the recruiter because quite possibly I would like to move back to Kansas City. This morning, I began to feel stresss and fear: how will I schedule interviews, who would I ask to be references, what would I do with my house in Atchison, I don\’t want to commute again, where would I get an apartment, what if I don\’t like it, etc… I feared that I was not worth the salary it would take to get me to move. I fear that if I don\’t take this job and my current company went out of business, I\’d be out of work.

I had ACIM open before me and I shut my eyes for prayer. I asked Jesus for help. I realized that this situation appeared out of the blue. I don\’t have to worry because if it is a gift from the Holy Spirit, everything will work out smoothly. It is not necessary for me to start worrying about it. VERY IMPORTANT was this: I have peace if I sit at my table and pray. I do not have peace if I project into the future all the things that could happen. The moment I leave the peace of this moment is the moment when I switch from the Holy Spirit to ego.

The healing peace of Jesus is in this moment. The love of Jesus is in this moment. Freedom from ego prison is in this moment. Somehow, human beings created themselves and left Heaven and God. This happened historically, but it also happens all the time right now. We keep doing it. We leave Heaven and God every time we choose ego intead of Holy Spirit. I make the ego choice over and over many times a day. It is only when I become conscious of the switching moments that I am able to stop and remain in peace. Jesus will help me with this awareness.

I want Jesus\’ help so I completely let go of things (like job changes) and let the Holy Spirit decide. I stop switching and put complete trust in God.

An alcoholic might say the Serenity Prayer, \”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…\” Most people say this prayer thinking they are enduring a bad situation. But I say it with the realization that the thing I can\’t change is God\’s love for me and Jesus\’ healing help and the Holy Spirit\’s peace and guidance. If I accept God\’s love, then I have true serenity. Don\’t say the Serenity Prayer because your ego isn\’t getting its way and you are upset. Say it because you want to remember and feel and know God\’s love. That is the one thing in the universe that never changes.

Daniel Day 26 – Remembering

Starting with the question, \”Why don\’t I remember God?\” a wonderful spiritual journey and experience can begin.

I can remember anything I want to remember. Why not God? I must not want to remember God. So I must look at myself and see why I don\’t want to remember God. In fact, I must be doing things to not want to remember God.

If I want to remember something else, I do things. Here are the things:

  • I set things out of place.
  • I set alarms.
  • I make habits.
  • I succumb to peer pressure and society\’s rules (caring what others think of me).
  • I have a bodily need like hunger or tiredness.
  • I\’m addicted.
  • I want it for grandiose reasons; like rewards or to please others.
  • I could be avoiding pain or lose.

What if I threw everything I had into remembering God? Why don\’t I want to be successful? Am I incapable? No…discern further.

From ACIM:

  • …confused communication does not mean anything. A message cannot be communicated unless it makes sense.
  • How sensible can your message be when you ask for what you do not want?…as long as you are afraid…that is precisely what you are asking for.
  • You and your Creator can communicate through creation.
  • Christ is in me…

I can’t remember God because I am asking about an idea of something which I don’t know what it is. Thus, I am asking for something which I have been told I should want but do not really want because I don’t know what it is. If you say God is Love, and I do want that, I might be confused. So much of my idea of love is really self serving. If I feel like a spiritual failure and cry out in prayer, it is really my ego, not God, that I am praying to. I am begging my ego to set me free and I know this because the world of perception is the ego’s. The belief that I am a physical being (instead of a spiritual one) is the ego’s. The only way to pray is to calm down and look into my silent depths. Christ is in me.

I can support Christ in me by realizing something else. Pay attention, I am going to shift this discussion a little. I am on a 40 day Daniel Fast and today is day 26. Fasting, combined with prayer, is for life changing spiritual breakthrough. Indeed, my own life has shifted tremendously from what it was like before starting the fast. I was running 50 or more miles a week and very unhappy because I was gaining weight. Now, I haven’t been running due to a foot injury but have lost 5 pounds; thus am very much at peace. Then, I hated religion, the limitations of religious rules, and thought the monastery up the street was pansy ass. Now, I have returned to church, want to understand what my 4 year education in Benedictine life was about, and am considering becoming an oblate at the monastery up the street. Then I was just an employee at a company I disapproved of. Now, I am willing to join the team of management in running the plant without hourly people (who are on strike) in order to save the company and change our culture. Then, I was afraid of losing my retirement. Now, I see wall street adjustments as a good thing and am not relying on anything but God. AND I am at peace with all these changes; that is the miracle part.

What these changes mean in the spiritual realm is that I see myself behaving, believing and loving in ways that are not possible for my ego. I see myself do what my ego does not want to do and realize that there is something higher than my ego in operation in my life. I see that I have and need to continue to turn my thinking over to this higher beneficent power who helps me be at peace at all times no matter what is going on. My ego only wants rewards and recognition. Beneficence wants to love. Beneficence must be “Christ within me.” I must throw all my effort into allowing Beneficence to be my consciousness.

Look at the list of things I do when I WANT to remember something. If I look at the peace and love Beneficence brings, and think about it quietly, I will find I WANT that. If I WANT something, then I am perfectly capable of ensuring that I remember it. So There!

Daniel Day 23 – Breakthru

Why God?

Do you ask this question?

Earlier today I quoted:

  • God is the light in which I see.
  • My ego has endless prescriptions for avoiding catastrophic outcomes.

So….I am on a Daniel Fast. My workplace is having big labor issues (I just learned this morning that they are huge). I fantasize about being highly spiritual and above labor/management conflicts. The economy could scare me; fearing a lack of money. I fantasize that I will lose my job or my savings and be poor…but not have to keep working at this difficult place.

God, how do these pieces fit together?

Daniel served in a corrupt foreign oligarchy; but he did not defile himself. He loved and served God, even in such a violent place. Daniel was a peaceful vegan in a world of violent meat eaters. Daniel was given knowledge of the Book of Truth.

I am finding I have knowledge of the Book of Truth. Knowledge of the Book of Truth is a revelation in Mind connectivity: I see the pattern. It is about developing my inner strength and living according to Truth, no matter what the outer world looks like. It hit home just a few minutes ago: Disaster is what my ego does; but I have sought God to be my light, my source. I live hand to mouth just like \”Peace Pilgrim.\” I\’m totally reliant on God, not on a savings account. No one on earth is really reliant on anything but SOURCE. I won\’t lose my job. I\’ll have to stay here and help this company work through its difficulties by being a peaceful vegan in a meat eater world. My ego worries about economies and makes endless prescriptions for self defense. Allowing God to be my light, I know I just have to do what is put in front of me today; BUT WITH MY WHOLE HEART. God is the light in which I see: just fulfill my purpose of teaching peace. Where is the best place to teach peace but in the middle of a conflict? Who is not in the middle of a conflict?

The person on a spiritual fast is sometimes asked for more; to meet greater challenges. My ego would like to somehow escape responsibility and difficulty and pretend to live on higher spiritual ground. After all, don\’t spiritual people evolve into teaching masters and not soil themselves with stressful capitalism? Living in the light of God, I know I have to meet and learn to read The Book of Truth; at my utmost in each challenge. I am helping a bunch of selfish meat eaters save their company because I am Daniel and this is where God wants me to work.

At the start of this fast, I listed my intentions. Being granted the Book of Truth was one of them. The Book of Truth is not written in words; but intuition and knowing. Everyday, I can, if mindful, read a little more of the Book.

Peace and Perception

What you perceive is a choice. I can realize that I am mainly perceiving the negative and ask for help with more positive, higher , loving perception. I can go back and re-interpret what I perceived earlier. What ever happened to me today doesn\’t mean anything until I assign it a meaning.

I can choose to assign peace. Transcendence is that simple.

I have the option of hating today; boy was today a bitch of a day! But why hate? Why assign a hateful meaning? I don\’t have to assign a meaning. Jesus, as I sit here, I think it is possible that I was walking in a new pair of shoes today which you gave me so I could walk along not assigning meanings. It is possible for me to not assign hateful and fearful ego meanings. I no longer want any ego meanings. Jesus, help me perceive love; something I\’ve always denied before.

Heaven would look on \”things\” somehow different than I ever have with my ego. I refuse to give today to my ego to make into a hateful resentment. I want Heaven to look through my eyes and see something different. I\’m willing to let Heaven be my consciousness. I will step out of the way.

Angry Misfit finds Inner Peace

Yesterday I was in emotional turmoil because someone didn\’t like my critical and forceful attitude (read politically incorrect). I took some words from their e-mail to me and thought, \”They think I am an angry misfit (toward their organization).\” I went to meditate and listen to some thoughts other than my own. After a brief while, I became happy that I had been labeled an angry misfit. Ifelt elated and at peace. \”Yes I am,\” came screaming our of my psyche.

I am a long distance runner; not an over-weight, pansey assed, donut eater. I have an attitude which incessantly pushes my personal performance envelope; instead of living in comfortable mind-numbing complacency. Other people do not like to encounter this attitude because it pushes and doesn\’t give. It feels rigid because it has standards. The attitude is one of insisting on vibrant life; not mediocrity.

I felt free and peaceful with this realization because I was finally accepting of myself. All my life, I\’ve tried to hem myself in because my attitude scares others; especially since it is combined with a quick intelligence and dry wit. But, hemming myself in has produced anger. Accepting the attitude as the very power and life blood of my essence helped me to feel free and well towards myself. I am in inner peace because I\’ve accepted my essence.

As I accepted my essence, I realized that I had been carrying around some egotized and dogmatic programming of what a peaceful person appears to be. Say the word peace and I project some quiet person who always says nice things and never gets upset. This image is based on society\’s programming because society doesn\’t want any boat shakers around. I realized that just because you rock the boat doesn\’t mean you don\’t have inner peace. Inner peace and outer peace are not the same thing. Outer peace, the image of perfection, is an ego invention. Inner peace is truth. Inner peace simply exists. Inner peace is found by accepting yourself exactly as you are; ceasing to fight. As I cease to fight myself, I won\’t appear angry to others.