Self Transcendence 48/52

Only a few days left in the 3,100 Self Transcendence Race. 4 people have finished the distance. 1 more will finish the distance on the last day. 5 others are doing amazing miles. They are inspiring me. When I was running this morning, all I could think about was doing more miles. And so, well, ok, just do them. No need to enter a race. I almost entered a 6 day race. But the $666 entry fee caused me to balk; especially considering the air fare and hotel and car.

Instead, maybe I\’ll just do a private multi-day. I\’ll keep you posted.

This is a special time of year; and I am taking a 3 day weekend to ponder it. 31 years ago, I got sober. Sobriety is much more than not drinking. In a 12 step approach, I\’ve been granted conscious contact with a power greater than myself. It is this, the walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe, which is fantastic. Yes, being a drunk would have been a horrible life. But just not drinking would be a horrible life too.

Also, 13 years ago I got kicked out of the convent. That was an amazing thing how that all worked out.

Also, 9 years ago, I became a Course in Miracles student. A Course in Miracles has given me so much spirituality.


Self Transcendence 36/52

Several of the runners in the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race are having trouble. Some who have finished it several times before are struggling. Yet they keep going; even knowing that on day 52, midnight, they won\’t be at 3,100 miles. It seems sad. Why don\’t they quit?

Because it is the inner miles and not the outer miles that matter. The actual number of material world miles, 3,100, does not judge the number of inner miles. Any one of us can cross a universe instantly.

I myself have always compared my state of enlightenment to what gurus write in their books. I wonder why I haven\’t had a bright light experience. (Well, I haven\’t taken LSD for one thing.) But when I look at my inner miles, I see I am OK.

I had an unusual week. Monday I had to fast all day and then drink some poison to clean out my colon. Tuesday I had a colonoscopy. Wednesday I met my energy healer in the energy plane and on the phone. Thursday my car got whapped by a chunk of metal on the freeway and I filed an insurance claim. Friday was pretty normal: I worked from home. While at home, I tried out my new pressure cooker. A pressure cooker is a decent analogy for cooking spiritual growth. That is, creating an environment where spiritual ideas can be cooked quickly rather than taking a lifetime to figure them out.

Today, I decided to give up heat related ailments and do my running inside on the treadmill. So also, I slept in very late. And I have time now to write this blog.

I am finishing a book by Paul Brunton. I have read 18 of his books in the past 8 or so years. He is a philosopher of both east and west. He best explains the nature of reality as thought and oneness. I am a person who thinks alot. I may look like I am training for a race, but actually, I am thinking about things. I am integrating my life experiences with what I know of truth. Rightly motivated exercise can be a pressure cooker for spiritual ideas, Thought. So can illness or calamity, but I prefer the consciously generated environment.

Only 16 more days of Self Transcendence retreat.

Self Transcendence 31/52

Colonoscopy over: My bowels are completely healthy and no issues.

I guess my inner bowels are doing well also.

Reflection: This just came to me: The essence of the world is Love. And you should know, when I left the monastery in 2003, I received these words from my intuitive self, \”Love is the predominate mode of existence.\”

I am able to participate analytically in the evolution of humankind. I have both the scientific and spiritual education. This is why I am not locked in a monastic choir stall or on a cushion in an ashram. But I have never accepted my role as equal to those granted special places, like religious sisters or gurus. I need to accept myself. I wanted consciousness and I got it. I need to stop being pissed that it didn\’t come with a white light experience or flowing robes.

I am serving others whether I like it or not.

Self Transcendence 29/52

If you are a student of metaphysics or philosophy or A Course in Miracles (ACIM) you may have heard, \”you create your own reality.\” In ACIM and the philosophy of Paul Brunton, it is clearly explained that reality is a projection. The projection does not come from the brain inside your head because that is part of the projection. It comes from the mind; which some do not agree exists but I am a believer in a higher mind.

I am getting to a startling realization I had today. I was reading one of Paul Brunton\’s books, and allowing my consciousness to expand into the universe; and suddenly it struck me. Pokeman is a perfect image of how I see other people. From there, I was able to understand the ACIM encouragement to take your consciousness above the battle field. It is so easy to see. Bigger Mind, which is my real mind, is the observer holding and watching the smart phone. My little ego mind is the smart phone. And yes, my ego mind sees other humans a objects to be blown away (for the most part). I am not a psychopath to admit this; it is just outside the social contract to admit this.

I have broken the social contract in many ways, like being a vegetarian, non-drinker, non-sexual, non-feminine, non-religious, non-TV-watcher, etc.

What else have I projected? I am willing to admit that, like most humans, I am fascinated by mass killings. Are you willing to admit you projected those activities? The ordinary unconscious person living in a material world instead of a metaphysical one cannot possibly take responsibility for projecting mass killings. But a ACIM student must.

I also take responsibility for the political situation. Donald Trump is the only person on earth who can a) shake up the old white men of the GOP and b) beat Hillary Clinton. So he had to be projected. The fact that the old white men need to be shaken up is my projection too. They are my own rigid ego.

A few weeks ago, I read a story about a woman dying of colon cancer, how unspiritual it was, and how she wished she had got a colonoscopy. Then, googling around, I learned that I have none of the risk factors for colon cancer but also it is a top 3 fatal disease. I realized that I had just projected something. I would have a niggling fear in my system unless I did something. So I embarked on a project of finding a doctor and someone to drive me around; and the colonoscopy is scheduled for Tuesday. Metaphysically, I am searching the bowels of my being for dis-ease.

Cancer is not God\’s fault. In fact, I\’m pretty sure there is no God. Only consciousness, Bigger Mind. It is easy for me to expand my mind to encompass the universe and energy.

Today, I woke up at 4 and got up at 4:40. Hence, I had a nice time for spiritual study and I got to the park at 6. I ran first to the new forest and then to Pine Gully. The view of the sunrise over Galveston Bay was great. Then I got back to Meador Park before the sun hit the trail along Todville road. Then I ran mostly in the shade for another 3 hours.

Self Transcendence 13/52

Yes it is still my Self Transcendence retreat. To understand what I am doing, the links are on the blog 1/52. I have journalled daily about self transcendence but only blogged sometimes.

A retreat is a period of special spiritual focus; just as a Muslim does Ramadan or a Catholic does Lent. I am doing Self Transcendence.

Today I begin a 6 day vacation. I am doing 3 marathons starting tomorrow. Today, I slept very late and sat with my philosophical book for a long time. I had time to ask myself, \”What self transcendence?\” I had some ideas I\’ve never had before.

When I was a child, I saw many commercials about \”Go climb a rock.\” I can\’t remember what that was for. If I google it now, it seems to be about Yosemite National Park. In a child\’s imagination, the saying stuck as an aspiration for more, to achieve in some way. The drive to succeed can be found in me. Since my early 20s I\’ve wanted a spiritual achievement. The ideas that reality is an illusion and the desire for knowing my higher self have been there since late 20s.  In my middle 20s, I realized the corporate achievement was not going to work for me. I don\’t seem to be a gifted athlete, but I have pursued physical achievement all my life; except in 2004 or so, my running became spiritual due to the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence Race.

What mountain am I climbing? It is an abstract mountain. This morning I had a new thought: What if I was born with the metaphysical and spiritual knowledge that medieval spiritualists received as an emotional sledge hammer, so that it doesn\’t seem so outrageous to me?  If that is true, then I\’m already at the top of that mountain and there is some other mountain I want to climb. If I look out in my world, can I find reflections of inner mountain climbing?


Somehow my spiritual metaphysical work is gaining energy, transforming energy. My inner world seems more at peace lately. My outer world is successful in material ways. However, I still want more spiritual consciousness. I still want a higher view. But I need to stop looking at the old methods. I need to transform these old methods. This had to be the reason I\’ve learned so much about various old methods. And the reason I know how to integrate. I need to push the integration forward, to make that quantum leap into a new orbital.

At the physical 3,100 mile self transcendence race, I notice that several people are doing more miles than they have in previous years. This is my affirmation that I myself can transcend.

Self Transcendence 9/52

Check page 1/52 to learn what I am doing for 52 days.

While you are there, note my mention of Germans coming to town and 4 presentations. Well, on that day, in my journal, I wrote about how I wanted to be recognized for what I do in the world. I wanted the recognition to be that I got invited to the meetings in Germany.

Today I learned: my presence in Germany has been demanded.

I am grateful to The Universe, or Universal Guru, or whatever you call it. Or just that I knew what my Higher Consciousness wanted and I went along with it. Now, I have to let go of one other thing. Maybe the conference in Germany is during the time that I have already scheduled a vacation. I\’ll need to let Universal Consciousness handle that problem.

Today is day 9/52. I exercised this morning with the idea that all is love; and I don\’t have to be afraid to release my love. My love is caged due to an unfortunate childhood. But now that I am conscious, I can let it go. Fear is the self that needs to be transcended. Don\’t accept it at all. Be yourself fully.

Self Transcendence 8/52

I have thought about self transcendence alot today, but there weren\’t any massive revelations.

It is Houston summer; the temp where I live never goes below 80F and it is very humid. I try to stay near trees; but even so, the heat index goes above 100F and I can only walk. Today was such a day. I got started at 6:35am in a small park doing 0.37 mile laps. I seemed to be very slow and by about 9, I had to walk only. I stuck it out for 4 hours, when my water ran out.

During the afternoon, I managed to work on a paper I need to write. I am scheduled to give a talk in October, but I need to write the paper to go with the talk. I had to first remember it at all, then force myself to re-direct my thinking and try to do even the smallest little work on it. I wonder if I pretended I was giving a TED Talk if I\’d feel more energy. I\’ll try that.

Then this evening, even though I was tired from the morning heat, I did 45 minutes of cross training machines and 21 minutes of free weights. I was listening to Freak-onomics radio. The phrase \”life organizing principle\” came up. That caused me to stop and think. First, I keep wanting some spiritual breakthru which affirms consciousness of my higher self. Second, I\’ve been a life long athlete and plan to continue. Third, I work for financial security.

It is turning out that my 52 day Self Transcendence retreat is different from the rest of the year in its focus on transcendence; as in what am I transcending?

I had vegetables for dinner.

Self Transcendence 6/52

It is hard to write your blog several hours after you had the inspiring thoughts. But I needed to get outside before it got too hot or no miles would have been done.

As I began my morning meditation today, I thought of how I like to take a little extra time on the weekends to snooze a little longer and do spiritual reading a little longer. Then I thought of the 3,100 mile runners. They do not get to do any slacking until they are done with the race (52 day cut off). The volunteers don\’t get to rest either.

Self Transcendence waits for no one.

I had a fruitful week being of service to others. Lets no digress. Spirituality does not wait. Do the work today. I never mention spirituality to anyone at work. They hear about running because they ask; and it seems a safe subject to mention. I don\’t mention the spirituality of running. But they always say something like, \”You are so disciplined.\” I claim not, since I like my exercise. But as I watch the 3,100 mile self transcendence runners, I realize, yes, they are disciplined.

Self Transcendence 2/52

Today in my morning spiritual reading, I realized I was quietly hating my boss; just for various reasons of being hemmed in by hierarchy. Reasons of old consciousness. I called my feelings the hateful self. Today\’s transcendence points to transcending the hateful self.

It is an ancient hate of oppression and abuse.

There must be another way to live, another synapse. I realized my job is just to move the energy. Or A Course in Miracles calls this \”forgiveness\” ; looking beyond the physical world to the love energy within the true heart.

There are tremendous possibility for achieving higher consciousness, if we have a way to focus. That is part of my problem. I go off to work and completely forget anything higher; I\’m just immersed in the annoying relationships.

The results from the first day of the self transcendence race have not yet been posted. typically, the do 70 to 90 miles the first day.

For myself, I will go ride my exercise bicycle and my nordic track and then go to work.

Self Transcendence – 1/52

Today is the first day of the 3,100 mile Self Transcendence race. Here

I have been following this race for many years. I love the idea and I love the daily blog about the athletes. This year, I began looking at the web pages several days ago with anticipation of who was coming and various other bits of information. I mean, I\’m excited about it. I can\’t wait for the daily reports by Uptal at \”Perfection Journey\” blog. Here

This morning, I remembered the race while I was doing my morning spiritual reading. I made a decision. I am going to celebrate 52 days of the race with my own focused situation. Each day when I journal, I will find a point of self transcendence within myself, my inner runner. I might not have time for blogging every day, but I will journal.

Today I asked myself, \”What self is it that I am trying to transcend?\” Immediately came the answer: the punishing self. My inner punishing self came about first from my parents but then from society; a continuous dis-sing of females in general, smart females in particular. And the hierarchies of society and corporations which make some people \”better\” than others.

In transcending the punishing self, I get to be the wonderful divine self that I was born as. We are all wonderful divine selves, but few of us really know it. I am going to make progress in consciously being my wonderful diving self as a focused project for 52 days.

Some people do Ramadan. Some people do Lent. I do Self Transcendence.

I should get plenty of practice this week. The Germans will be in town. I work for a German company and us Americans know full well that The Germans think they are better. Since I am making 4 presentations for an international group, I\’ll get plenty of exposure and emotional feelings about myself.

Today I was able to do 4 hours of jog walk in the Gulf Coast heat and humidity. I\’m pretty happy about that.