Existential 5k

I wish to write about this beautiful moment in time when God Consciousness and my consciousness met. It wasn’t a euphoria. It was awareness or just a feeling of knowing.

Whitney Houston sang the song, “One Moment in Time.” It was the 1988 Olympics. I felt tears as I have always wanted to perform athletically at that level. Something deep inside me yearns. To feed the yearning, I race.

On Saturday, I ran a 5k (3.1 mile) race. It is not often that I run such a short race. I signed up for this event because it was two events in one day. Shortly after the 5k race, there was a 15k race that I also ran. Running two races made it worth a two-hour drive.

The day was gloomy with heavy clouds and an almost-rain sprinkling down. The start line was in some trees under an overpass, which made it even more gloomy. The course was an out-and-back on a rails-to-trails path, so nearly flat. It headed out into some trees around a bend. I couldn’t see more than that. I fully intended to run faster than the other 60-year-old ladies and get myself an award. There weren’t many people there, only about 30. I looked around the start line to pick out my victims.

As the start horn went off and we all began to surge forward, one of the older ladies sprinted off ahead of me. I quickly realized that I wouldn’t catch her and settled for second place. This realization caused me to focus on running my own race, doing the best that I could do, and not what someone else was doing.

After the turnaround, when there were only 1.5 miles to go, I thought, “There are only 1.5 miles to go, let loose.” And I tried to run at the max of my leg speed and cardio-vascular capability. You can’t let go in a marathon or ultramarathon because it is too long, but in a 5k, yes! It helped that the course was ever so slightly downhill. I focused on speed and did what I could. Amazingly, I finished the 5k in twenty-nine minutes and a few seconds. I haven’t run that fast in several years. It felt awesome.

That moment of letting go is what I want to speak about because it was an existential moment. To let go and focus only on the one step right in front of you, to have no thought in your head, to breathe deeply, is a moment of solitary existence with God. That is, alone with the alone in the existential running. That is one moment in time.

I won my age group after all. And then, part two was a 15k (9.3 miles) race. I didn’t have it in me to try too hard. My legs were a little whupped after that hard 5k effort, and the rest of me didn’t feel that great either. I did however jog the whole thing and finished in 1h47. They gave out cool mugs for finishing the second race.

Up next on the schedule is a four-day virtual race to take place the first week of January. January 12 is my 65^th birthday and I have a two-week-long celebration planned. Stay tuned.

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